With a weary sigh, I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes. This was going nowhere, or maybe itwasgoing somewhere, and I didn't want to accept it.
Joel's voice, softer now, broke into my thoughts. "Lemme ask you something."
I turned to look. "What?"
"What's changed?"
I gave a confused shake of my head. "What do you mean?"
"I left what, two weeks ago?"
Yes, but it felt like longer. The day of Joel's departure had been one of the worst days of my adult life. Within just a few hours, I'd gone from hearing Derek's threat to watching in shock as an unexpected moving truck rumbled into my driveway, causing Joel to assume the worst. From start to finish, it had been a total nightmare.
I gave a silent nod.
"Between then and now," Joel said, "what's different?"
The question caught me off-guard, and I wasn't sure how to answer. Still, I gave it my best shot. "Well, two weeks ago, I thought that if we gave each other up for six months, everything would be okay. But now that I know that Derek isn't going to let up regardless, I figure we might as well face the problem together."
"What you mean," Joel said, "is you're gonna let me drag you down in the mud."
"No." I gave a decisive shake of my head. "That's not it at all."
He gave me a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Isn't it?"
I felt a sudden twinge of panic. "No. Definitely not."
Abruptly, Joel said, "Wanna know why I won't give that fucker an autograph?"
Startled, I said, "Uh, sure. Why?"
"Because the dumb-ass sent you here." His jaw tightened. "Alone."
I didn't want to talk about Mike. I wanted to talk about Joel. Hoping to move past this, I said, "He didn'tsendme. I came on my own. He did me a favor, remember?"
"You think so, huh?"
"Iknowso. I had to beg him, actually. He acted like it was all a big secret or something."
"Yeah? You wanna hear another secret?"
From the tone of his voice, I wasn't so sure. Still, I nodded.
"He's lucky I don't track him down and kick his ass."
I didn't like the sounds of that. "Why?"
"Because begging or not, he should've said no." Joel did a quick scan of our surroundings. "Take a good look. You're in a shitty part of town. And you had to drive through a shittier part to get here."
I knew which part he meant – a stretch of burnt-out buildings, covered in graffiti. It made this desolate parking lot look like a fine slice of heaven. Still, I said, "It wasn'tsobad."
"Right." He turned and gave my car a quick glance. "Andthatthing? Fucker breaks down every two weeks."
I wasn't used to him swearing so much. And I loved my car, even if itwasmostly for sentimental reasons. It had, after all, been my mom's. I said, "It's notthatoften."
Ignoring me, Joel kept on going. "And you end uphere. In a place you don't know, with the worst kind of people."
"That's not true," I said. "At least not now." My voice softened. "I'm with you."
