Chapter 14
After speaking with Catherine,Annabelle’s mind kept twisting up in unwelcome knots. She knew what she wanted to do, and what she definitely didnotwant to do, but the thought of letting everyone else down hurt her more than expected. She had not really thought of how her love would affect anyone else. She had been prepared to throw her own reputation away, but she did not want to affect her parents, or her sister and her unborn child. Everyone would be affected by this if she went through withit.
“Annabelle, may I speak with you, please?” She was shocked out of her deep thoughts by her mother coming to speak with her. “Inprivate?”
Annabelle nodded, but she felt very confused. She had not spoken much to anyone recently, and the last conversation that she had shared with Josephine was a very cryptic one. Maybe if so much had not happened afterwards, Annabelle would have remembered thatbeforehand.
“Where are we going, Mother?” she finally felt compelled to ask as they walked right through the house. “What do you want to talk to meabout?”
But Josephine did not answer her. She felt fit to burst but she had not worked so hard on this plan just to ruin it at the last moment. It was not until they were safely shut away in her bedroom that she finally felt brave enough tospeak.
“I had a horse riding lesson yesterday,” she started, with an innocent enough tone. “That was an interestingexperience.”
“But you already know how to ride?” Annabelle said questioningly, clearly not understanding what her mother was hinting at. “Why would you have alesson?”
“I wanted to get to know a certain Floyd Brewerbetter.”
Annabelle’s heart dropped. Of course, how could she not have connected the dots together? She had spent so much time worrying about her father finding out that she had been spending time with Floyd, that she had not even considered hermother.
“I see,” she answered with a gulp. Maybe denial would work. “And do you think that you learned alot?”
“I think Floyd Brewer is a very nice boy. One who will go far in life. Do you know he has a plan to open his own ridingstables?”
Annabelle knew that this was a test. If she answered yes then she opened herself up to a lot of possible trouble, but if she did not then she was lying. She did not want to lie to her mother. “I have heard,” she eventually admitted. “Do you think he will doit?”
“With the right woman behindhim.”
Nerves shot through Annabelle’s system, she could tell that her mother was trying to extract information from her but she could not give it just yet. Not while she did not know where her mother’s loyalties were. One moment she seemed very keen for Annabelle to shut up and do what her father told her, the next she was giving her cryptic messages, suggesting that the wedding might not have to happen in theend.
“Yes,” she drawled slowly. “I supposeso.”
“Annabelle, I know.” Josephine finally gave in and admitted that she was aware. She hadn’t wanted to dive in with the information in case it scared her daughter off, but now she just wanted to have the conversation before Otto found them and spoiled everything. “I know what is going on. I... I saw you. I saw you and Floyd...kissing.” She whispered the last word, just as an extraprecaution.
Annabelle felt her entire body ice over, her face turned an ashen shade of white. She was not expecting that at all. Even if her mother suspected that something might be going on, she did not think that she would know. Annabelle’s breath caught in her throat, she felt her emotions ice over completely. The dream that was starting to build up in her head shattered intonothing.
“I... I do not know what to say,” she gasped. “I amsorry.”
“No.” Josephine shook her head with a smile. “You are not sorry, and I do not blame you. You are inlove.”
Oh!Boiling hot relief crashed over Annabelle in waves. Her mother did not seem angry for her potentially foolish behaviour. Her heart rate returned to normal and the fear calmed right down. It was almost as if her lungs had opened up and everything felt alrightagain.
“You are in love with a man that you are not betrothedto.”
Annabelle nodded slowly. “Yes, I am, and I do not know what to do about it.” She took a seat on the bed next to her mother and looked up at her with sad eyes. “I keep trying to tell everyone that Lord Ashdown is a terrible man, that he is not right for me but no one will listen. He said terrible things to me, he put his hands on my body when no one else was in the room, Iknowthat marriage to him will beawful.”
Josephine clenched her hands together angrily as she listened to her daughter speak. This was why she knew with utter certainty that she was doing the right thing. The thought of Annabelle with Lord Ashdown made her skin crawl. “I know that too,” she answered softly. “I know he is a terrible person, I knew that even before you came to me forhelp.”
Annabelle could not recall asking her mother for help, but she sure needed it now which was why she kept her mouthshut.
“You need my help to escape a wedding that you feel you cannot go through with. Am I right in assumingthat?”
“Yes,” Annabelle whispered. “I keep trying to find a way out. That was the truth even before I met Floyd, but now that I know him, I do not want anything else.” She held her mother’s fingers, hoping that Josephine would understand her even if no one else did. “He has made me see that things could be very different. He has made me see that there is so much more to life and what it couldbe.”
“Have you really thought about this? Do you know it is what youwant?”
Josephine needed to be absolutely certain before she did anything. She was sure that her daughter could never love Watson, she knew for a fact that he was a horrible person. She had even gone out of her way to ensure that Floyd was a decent person before she acted. Everything was as she wanted it to be, but if there was even a scrap of doubt in her daughter’s eyes she would stop this now before it went too far, before Annabelle risked her own life and Josephine risked hermarriage.
“Mother, this is what I want. I have thought about it non-stop. I know that it is risky, I know that I will not ever have the life that I have now, but it is still what I want.” She sighed loudly, letting all of her sadness out. “But it cannot be so, I cannot have the life that I want because it shall affect so many otherpeople.”
