Annabelle felt chastened, but she did not want her friend to see that. She tried her best to rearrange her expression but she did not manage it quick enough. Catherine could see that she was getting through so she continued quickly, hoping to push the pointthrough.
“Annabelle, if you decide to go through with this, you will not only lose your money and your title, you will also lose your family. Your father will disown you, your mother will be forced to stick by him.” She pursed her lips, knowing there was also something else that would have to happen. “It will also be difficult for all your friends to have anything to do with you. You will be tainted, we will all be made to keep away from you so our reputations stayintact.”
“I...” Annabelle had not thought about that, not really. She had been so wrapped up in her selfish thoughts that nothing else hadmattered.
“I know that you do not like Lord Ashdown,” Catherine spoke softly. She wanted Annabelle to know that she understood, even if she did not really. Catherine had never felt any feelings that were worth risking everything for. “But you will find happiness with him in the end.” She held onto Annabelle’s hands and gave her a sympathetic look. “I am sure most women feel unhappy at first, but soon things start to look up. Maybe the things said about him are not alltrue...”
“But they are,” Annabelle whined helplessly. “He is horrible. Every moment I have spent with him has been awful. He has said terrible things to me and touched me when I did not want himto.”
Catherine did not want to say it aloud, but she felt certain that no other man would want to know Annabelle now that she had been kissed by a stable boy. Maybe it was not a known fact, but these things had a way of gettingout.
“Maybe he is acting out because he is nervous.” Catherine knew that she was reaching desperately, but she could not allow her friend to delve into these depths. Especially when she felt certain that it was on such a whim. “Maybe once he has gotten to know you better, he will calmdown.”
“And the courtesans?” Annabelle cocked an eyebrow at Catherine. Some of her points were a little too reasonable for her, she needed to find a way to defend what she had done. “You believe that will stoptoo?”
“Possibly. Probably.” Catherine felt all her hard work flying out the window. “Your father would not have chosen him without good reason. You know how protective he is over the Hathaway reputation. He is worse than mostpeople.”
“I suppose you are right.” Annabelle nodded agreeably. “But I cannot help how Ifeel.”
Catherine rolled her eyes, letting some of her frustration out. “So, what is your plan?” she asked angrily. “How do you intend to be with this stable boy? Are you going to stop the wedding half waythrough?”
“There will not be a wedding,” Annabelle answered confidently. “I am certain that I will have it solved bythen.”
“Solved?” Catherine threw her hands in the air exasperatedly. “How? I do not wish to be rude but you are not thinking straight at all. You are allowing your imagination to get the better of you, Annabelle. Life is not all one big adventure, sometimes there are things that we simply have to do. It is fine to dream in our minds, but life is not likethat.”
“I understand why you are so concerned, Catherine, and I am grateful for it, but I know that this is right for me. For girls like Edith and Harriett, maybe even you, marrying a Lord and being kept in a certain lifestyle is fine, but for me it isnot.”
“Annabelle, stop it. It is not just you at stake here. It is everyone...” But Catherine could tell that she was losing her friend, Annabelle’s pig-headed determination had already made up its mind. “Please, just think about this before you do anythingsilly.”
“Catherine, I have done nothing but think about this. This is the right thing forme.”
The girls stared at one another, both seeing each other through new eyes. They had always been friends, there had never been anything to tear them apart, but on this subject, they could not understand each other’s point ofview.
Catherine could not understand what would drive someone to sacrifice everything that they had been given. She did not understand why Annabelle could not see that they were the lucky ones. The lower born people had hard lives, they had to work for everything that they had and it would never be as much as the richer folk. In Catherine’s mind, there was no comparison in theirlives.
Annabelle wanted Catherine to understand what it felt like to be in love, but she knew she could not. Until Annabelle felt it herself she did not get it either. She hoped that Catherine would just trust that she knew what wasbest.
“I must be going now,” Annabelle said quietly. “And thank you for listening to me. I appreciate it. I know it is hard to keep it a secret and I would appreciate it if you kept it toyourself.”
“Of course, I will!” Even if Catherine did not agree with Annabelle, she was still her best friend. She would never break that trust. “I just hope that you think about it and you make the rightdecision.”
“Iwill.”
Annabelle hoped that she was not walking out of Catherine’s bedroom for the last time. She did not want their friendship to end over this. She had risked a lot telling Catherine the truth and her friend would have to risk a lot too by never telling anyone. But she trusted Catherine with her life and she did not think her friend would ever let herdown.
