I studied his face in profile. He wasn't seriously offering me another guy's phone number, was he? Even now, I just couldn’t see that happening. But what if I was wrong?
What if he truly didn't care? If that was the case, Ihadto know. In a quiet voice, I asked, "If I did want his number, would you give it to me?"
He turned and gave me a long, cold look. "Hell, if that's what you want, I'll call him now." His lips formed a nasty smirk. "Maybe there's room for you at Denny's."
I rocked backward, almost like I'd been slapped. "You don't mean that."
"Hey, you do what you want. I'm not the boss of you."
No. He wasn't.But he'd never been such an asshole before.I almost didn't know what to say. A sound – a half-sob, half-scoff – escaped my lips. "Yeah. I guess you're not."
Under his hard gaze, I took a deep breath and stiffened my resolve. I did love him. Or at least, I loved the guy Ithoughthe was. But the person in front of me was a stranger – a cold, hard stranger who obviously cared nothing for me or my feelings.
I looked to my car. I was still standing in front of it. But with just a few short strides, I could yank open the driver's side door – well as much as itcouldbe yanked, with the van parked so close – and then, I could climb into the driver's seat and drive off, leaving all of this behind me.
My stomach clenched.
Leaving Joel behind me.
Forever?
It sure felt that way.
I was still looking toward my car door when Joel said, "You wanna go?I'mnot stopping you."
His words sliced through me. If that wasn't a hint, I didn't know what was.
The way it looked, he'd only returned to make sure I wasn't dead in the parking lot. Maybe I should've been grateful, but I wasn't. Probably, all he wanted now was to get back to Rhonda and what's-her-name.
Screw this. Screw everything.I looked back to Joel and said, "You know what? Maybe there's room foryouat Denny's."
His jaw tightened. "What?"
"Yeah. Because I'm not stoppingyoueither."
"Yeah?" he said. "Well, good."
"Yeah, good. I hope youdogo. And I hope you screw them silly." I was practically choking on my own words, but I kept on going. "And, I hope…"Damn it. What?"…I hope your privates fall off from whatever social disease they wanna give you." I wanted to cry. Maybe Iwascrying. I mumbled, "Assuming they haven't already."
And with that, I turned and stumbled into the narrow gap that separated my car from the van. He wanted me to go, huh? Well, I'd go, alright. And this time, I wouldn’t be looking back.
But just as I reached my car door, I felt a hand on my elbow. I whirled to see Joel staring down at me.
He said, "Is that what you really want?"
"Why?" I was shaking now. "Do you care?"
He looked at me for a long, awful moment before whispering a single word that changed everything. "Yes."
