"You think I'm not?" He gave my hand another squeeze. "Remember what I said about the teachers?"
"You mean that they had preconceived notions about you?"
"That's one way to put it. But it was the same with girls. The nice ones? Their parents would get one look at me and run for the hills, dragging their daughters with them." He glanced away. "Not that I blame them. Shit, if I had a daughter? I'd be the same way."
"So, what kind of girlsdidyou date?"
"The kind you don'thaveto date."
"Oh." Tentatively, I asked, "Did you like that?"
"Sometimes," he said. "Or, at least, that's what I told myself. And then something happened."
"What?" I asked.
He gave me a smile that melted my heart. "I met you."
And just like that, the gooey feeling was back. I don't know how it happened, or who moved first, but soon, we were in each other's arms – kissing and touching. Just like always, it felt like coming home, and I savored the feel of him.
The last two days had been miserable. But today, was heaven. And I was determined to enjoy it, especially because I had an idea.
Unfortunately, when I mentioned that idea to Joel a few hours later, the trouble started all over again.
Chapter 59
I gave Joel a perplexed look. "But why not?"
He was frowning now. "Because I told you, I'm no artist."
We were sitting out on my bedroom balcony, and I'd just told him more about the art endowment – how it paid a generous stipend, how only six artists were selected each year, and how several recipients from prior years had already experienced life-changing success.
I'd ended with the suggestion that Joel apply for one of the slots. Yes, it was late in the process, but not impossible to work out, given the fact that Claude hadn't yet made his final selections.
But to my disappointment, Joel had practically laughed in my face.
I was so confused, I didn't know what to think. "But you're really good."
He looked down to study his hands. I followed his gaze and saw what he saw, hardened knuckles with faint scars that could've only come from one thing – beating someone bloody.
I reached out and took his hands in mine. "Seriously, youare. And you should apply."
But he shook his head. "Sorry, not a good idea."
"Why not?"
He gave a bitter laugh. "Because it'll flame out. That's why."
"Oh stop it. It will not."
"Wanna bet?" His hands stiffened in mine. "If I told you I loved you, you'd leave me tomorrow."
I sucked in a breath. There it was again, the L-word.
Oblivious to the turmoil that he'd just caused, Joel continued, "Or maybe next week. Hard to say." His jaw clenched. "But it wouldn’t be long."
I felt the beginnings of a real smile. "Joel–"
His eyes flashed in warning. "Stop."
