The sky was gray. It wasn’t raining yet. But any minute now, it was going to pour. It was like any other morning in Cousins Beach. Except it wasn’t, because I was getting married.
I was reasonably sure I was getting married. The only thing was, I had no idea where Jeremiah had gone or if he was even coming back.
I was sitting at the vanity mirror in my pink bathrobe, trying to curl my hair. Taylor was at the beauty salon, and she’d tried to persuade me to get mine done there too, but I’d said no. The only time I ever got my hair done, I hated the way it looked. Like a beauty pageant contestant,stiff and high. I didn’t look like me. I thought that today of all days, I should look like me.
There was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” I said, trying to fix a curl that had already gone limp.
The door opened. It was my mother. She was already dressed. She was wearing a suit jacket and linen pants and was carrying a lemon yellow envelope. I recognized it right away: Susannah’s personal stationery. It was so like her. I wished I was worthy of it. It hurt to think that I had let her down like this. What would she say if she knew?
My mother closed the door behind her. “Do you want me to help?” she asked.
I handed her the curling iron. She set down the letter on my dresser. She stood behind me, sectioning my hair off into thirds. “Did Taylor do your makeup? It looks nice.”
“Yeah, she did. Thanks. You look really nice too.”
“I’m not ready for this,” she said.
I looked at her in the mirror, winding my hair around the barrel, her head down. My mother was beautiful to me in that moment.
She put her hands on my shoulders and looked at me in the mirror. “This isn’t what I wanted for you. But I’m here. This is your wedding day. My only daughter.”
I reached over my shoulder and took her hand. Shesqueezed my hand tight, so tight it hurt. I wanted to confide in her, to confess that things were a mess, that I didn’t even know where Jeremiah was or if I would be getting married after all. But it had taken her so long to get here, and if I raised one single doubt now, that would be more than enough for her to put an end to it. She would throw me over her shoulder and carry me away from this whole wedding.
So all that came out was, “Thank you, Mommy.”
“You’re welcome,” she said. She looked over toward my window. “Do you think the weather will hold?”
“I don’t know. I hope so.”
“Well, if worst comes to worst, we’ll move the wedding inside. No big shakes.” Then she handed me the letter. “Susannah wanted you to have this on your wedding day.”
My mother kissed me on the top of my head and walked out of the room.
I picked up the letter, ran my fingers along my name, written in Susannah’s smooth cursive. Then I put it back down on the dresser. Not yet.
There was a knock at the door. “Who is it?” I asked.
“Steven.”
“Come in.”
The door opened, and Steven came in, closing it behind him. He was wearing the white linen shirt and khaki shorts all the groomsmen were wearing. “Hey,”he said, sitting down on my bed. “Your hair looks nice.”
“Is he back?”
Steven hesitated.
“Just tell me, Steven.”
“No. He’s not back. Conrad went off to find him. He thinks he knows where Jere went.”
I let out a breath. I was relieved, but at the same time—what would Jeremiah do when he saw Conrad? What if it only made things worse?
“He’s going to call as soon as he finds him.”
I nodded, then picked up the curling iron again. My fingers trembled, and I had to steady my hand so I wouldn’t burn my cheek.
