Jeremiah took one of my fries and said, “Save room for dessert.”
I nodded. Then he leaned over and kissed me, and I kissed him back. After, I saw his eyes flicker over to the end of the table, so quick I could have imagined it.
chapterfifty-one
CONRAD
I felt like I was going out of my mind that night. Sitting there at the table with everyone, cheersing when my dad made a toast, trying not to watch when Jere kissed her in front of all of us.
After dinner was over, Jere and Belly and all their friends went to the boardwalk for ice cream. My dad and Belly’s dad went to their hotel. It was just Laur and me back at the house. I was on my way up to my room, but Laurel stopped me and said, “Hey, let’s have a beer, Connie. I think we deserve it, don’t you?”
We sat at the kitchen table with our beers. She clinked my bottle and said, “To… what should we toast to?”
“What else? To the happy couple.”
Without looking at me, Laurel said, “How are you doing?”
“Good,” I said. “Great.”
“Come on. This is your Laura you’re talking to. Tell me. How are you feeling?”
“Honestly?” I swigged my beer. “It’s pretty much killing me.”
Laurel looked back at me, her face tender. “I’m sorry. I know you love her a lot, kid. This must be really hard on you.”
I could feel my throat starting to close up. I tried to clear it, unsuccessfully. I could feel it coming up in my chest, behind my eyes. I was going to cry in front of her. It was the way she said it, it was like my mom was right there, knowing without me having to tell her.
Laurel took my hand and clasped it in hers. I tried to pull it away, but she held on tighter. “We’ll get through it tomorrow, I promise. It’ll be you and me, kid.” Squeezing my hand, she said, “God, I miss your mom.”
“Me too.”
“We really need her right now, don’t we?”
I bowed my head and started to cry.
chapterfifty-two
I wanted to sleep in Jeremiah’s room that night, but when I started to follow him upstairs, Taylor wagged her finger at me. “Uh-uh. It’s bad luck.”
So I’d gone to my room, and he’d gone to his.
It was too hot. I couldn’t sleep. I’d kick the covers off and flip my pillow over to cool off, but it didn’t help. I kept looking at the alarm clock. One o’clock, two o’clock.
When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I threw off my sheets and put on my bathing suit. I didn’t turn on any lights, I just found my way downstairs in the darkness. The moonlight was enough to guide me. Everyone else was asleep.
I made my way outside, down to the pool. I dove in, held my breath for as long as I could. I could already feel my bones start to relax. When I came back up forair, I floated on my back and looked up at the sky. The stars were out. I loved how quiet it was, how still. The only thing I could hear was the ocean lapping against the sand.
Tomorrow I would become Isabel Fisher. It was what I always wanted, my girlhood dream come true a thousand times over. And I’d wrecked it. Or rather, I was about to wreck it. I had to tell the truth. I couldn’t marry Jeremiah tomorrow like this, not with a secret that big between us.
I climbed out of the pool, put the towel around me, and went inside the house, up to Jeremiah’s room. He was asleep, but I shook him awake. “I need to talk to you,” I said. Water from my hair dripped onto his pillow, onto his face.
Groggily, he said, “Isn’t it bad luck?”
“I don’t care.”
Jeremiah sat up, wiping his cheeks. “What’s up?”
“Let’s talk outside,” I said.
