Rebecca had never felt the need to rescue somebody so deeplybefore in her entire life. Dream or no dream. She wanted to wake Spencer up, soshe tried. She reached out, grabbed her by those sensual bare shoulders andgave her a shake. She screamed at her without sound, told her to look around,to understand her own worth, to participate in her own life, for God’s sake, thatshe deserved so much better than she was settling for, thatlife was too fucking short.Spencer simply looked at her with a small, sad smile.
Rebecca woke up.
She lay there in her bed, eyes adjusting to the pre-dawn light inher room, and stared at the ceiling. Rebecca wasn’t one of those people whoremembered her dreams in vivid detail. Most of the time, she barely rememberedbits and pieces. But this dream…
With a slow inhale, she rehashed every single element of it. Shecould still see the church, could almost smell it. She remembered the anger onMarti’s face, the rage as she flailed her arms. Rebecca found it interesting inthat moment that, while she’d been able to reach out and touch Spencer (shecould still feel the warmth of her bare shoulders under her palms), Marti hadmade no attempts to physically remove Rebecca from the scene.
I certainlywould have if the roles were reversed. I’d have shoved her out of that churchso fast…
Mostly, though, she focused her memory on Spencer. On the beautyof her dress. On the corkscrew curls that dangled near her ears and all aroundher upswept hair. On the sadness in her eyes.
A glance at the bedside clock told Rebecca it was four a.m. Shehad a five-thirty client and would normally sleep for another forty-fiveminutes, but she was wide awake and she knew it. With an irritated groan, shethrew off the covers and headed for the shower.
Unlike normal dreams that tended to fade away as the dayprogressed in wakefulness, this one stayed with Rebecca. Any time she wasn’tfocused on a client or an email or a fellow employee, her mind drifted backthere. Back to Spencer’s lack of words, to her resigned smile, to her sad, sadeyes.
Was this simply Rebecca’s mind messing with her? Punishing her forwhat she’d done? Or was it something more? Something bigger? A sign of somesort? Sherry was big on that kind of thing. After all, yoga was all about themind-body-spirit connection. During her training, she’d immersed herself into alot of that type of thing, and she was always pointing out “signs.” Rebeccamade the air quotes in her head because that was how she normally thought ofsuch things. But this…this had thrown her for a loop because it seemed to comeout of nowhere. Not the sexual desire, but the emotions. She could still feelthem from the dream, as strongly as if they had happened in a real-lifesituation. Her frustration, her worry, the urgent need to rescue Spencer fromsomething bad.
That last one got her. Rescue. Rebecca shook her head as she satat her desk and pretended to be reading email. Spencer was a big girl. Shedidn’t need rescuing. If she was going to leave Marti, if she needed to leaveMarti, that wasn’t for Rebecca to say. In fact, it had nothing at all to dowith Rebecca, and she’d do well to keep reminding herself of that.
Right?
With another hard shake of her head, Rebecca blew out a breath andsquinted at her computer just as Sherry dropped into the chair nearby.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” Rebecca said in reply. “Housewife yoga over?” That’s whatthey called the two o’clock yoga class, as it seemed to be filled with womenwho dropped their kids off in the child care room on their way in.
“Yep. Nearly fifteen today.”
Rebecca raised her eyebrows and nodded. “Impressive.”
“Yep.” Sherry managed to stay quiet for a good ten seconds beforeasking, “So, what’s up with you? You’re all over the place. Is it Nick still?”
“Yeah. I mean, he’s going to be fine and he’s been great aboutlistening to me when I talk about exercise and eating better.”
“So it’s not Nick, then.”
Rebecca could feel Sherry’s eyes on her, feel her stare, and hatedit. Sherry could see right into her like she could read her thoughts. Even Nickwasn’t that good.
Sherry sat back in her chair with a grunt of affirmation, likeshe’d solved a puzzle.
Rebecca stared at her computer screen until she couldn’t take itanymore and shifted her gaze to Sherry. She tilted her head and waited.
“It’s your little cupcake,” Sherry announced with certainty.
“I wish you wouldn’t call her that.”
“I know. You’re right. It’s condescending. And honestly, the wayshe’s been kicking ass in my spin class, I don’t think she’s as weak andsquishy as I may have thought. I’ll have to come up with another nickname.Something harder. Something tough.” It was an attempt at lightheartedness, butit fell flat and Sherry seemed to know it. “Seriously, Beck, what’s the deal?”
“I slept with her.” Rebecca’s voice was barely a whisper, but shesaid it. She said the words, then squeezed her eyes shut and flinched as Sherryunloaded on her. As expected.
“You didwhat?Jesus Christ, Rebecca, what were you thinking? You know how inappropriate thatis! You could lose your job.” Sherry kept her voice down as well, lookingaround as she hissed at Rebecca, making sure nobody could hear them. “You knowbetter.”
“I know. I know.”
“And isn’t she engaged?”
Rebecca nodded.
