I bypass texting and call her immediately.
“Hey,” she whispers. “Just about to leave my office and head off to a meeting.”
“You’re coming over tonight.”
She chuckles lightly. “You’re really committing to this caveman bit, aren’t you?”
“What’s wrong? Why don’t you want to come over?” I say, softer this time.
She sighs. “I know we said ‘I love you’ to one another, but I don’t know if I’m ready to bethisopen with you.” I hear the embarrassment in her tone.
“What is it, baby?”
“Uh. I uh, got my period just now,” she says tentatively.
I ignore the irrational disappointment that comes out of nowhere now that I know we didn’t magically make a New Year’s baby and instead focus on trying to figure out the issue at hand. “And?”
“And?” She pauses. “And I’m on my period. So I don’t want to bechangingandmanagingwhile at your place.”
I shake my head, then put both bottles of wine in the cart. “I’m grocery shopping as we speak. I’ll pick up anything you want. Do you need any tampons or pads? I can swing by the pharmacy after—”
“Tony!” she whisper-shouts. “You don’t—I have everything I need. I just—” She huffs. “Look, I know we’re speed rolling through societal timelines here, but I don’t want to shatter whateverallureI have going on during this honeymoon phase. And today is day one of my period, which means I feel bloated and gross and maybe a little sensitive. So excuse me for wanting to spare you from boarding my hot mess express.”
My smile is blinding. I never knew bliss could be bickering over mundane things while grocery shopping. But my girl trying to shield herself from me isn’t gonna fly.
“Nikki, I need you to listen to me and listen to me carefully,” I say sternly. “Are you in the mood for chocolate-covered marshmallows or chocolate-covered pretzels?” I eye the snacks to my right.
She groans. “Tony, stop mocking me.”
“I’m dead serious, but I understand if you can’t make decisions at a time like this, so I’ll go with both.” I toss both snacks into the cart and continue making my way along the aisles. “Now, moving on to dinner. What are you craving? I got enough food in this cart to feed us all week, so I can cook, or I can just make a couple veggie sides and order from whatever restaurant you desire.”
Silence.
“Nikki, you still there?”
I hear her audibly exhale. “Yep. I’m here. Just trying to figure out how I have my period when you say shit like that. Surely your words should be enough to knock me up. At this rate, I think I should be having quintuplets,” she says rapidly.
I immediately envision her pregnant, her swollen belly growing our child. And if she thinks I was a caveman before, she has no idea the visual she just implanted in my brain. “Nikki,” I say gruffly.
“Oh God, please don’t tell me I just gave you a breeding kink. See? This is the kind of shit I spew off on day one. I can’t be trusted. I’ll just come over on—”
“Nicolette.” I slice through her words.
I faintly hear her whisper an “oh fuck.”
“Either you’re at my apartment, with a very large suitcase full of your belongings by six p.m., or I’m coming to your place to pick you up. Option two will make me upset. Upset enough to hide the chocolate-covered marshmallows in the cabinets over the fridge, where you can’t reach.”
She gasps audibly. “You wouldn’t.”
I grin. “I would.”
I hear the smile in her voice as she speaks. “You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Nuñez. So, I guess you’ll be seeing me tonight at six.”
“Good girl.”
“Ew, shut up! Don’t say stuff like that in public!”
I laugh and get ready to end the call so I can drive the cart between the crowded grocery shoppers, but then Nikki speaks in a much more somber tone.
