“Mmm.”
“Amelia, look at me,” he says hoarsely. I slowly raise my gaze to him, and am immediately taken aback by how troubled his eyes seem at this moment.
“Why didn’t you call?” he says as he maintains his eyes locked on mine.
I gulp loudly. “What do you mean?”
“At your mother’s funeral. I held you. I told you to call me whenever you needed someone. For dinner, a hug, whatever you wanted. I let you know I would be there for you in a heartbeat if you needed someone, but you never called.” He takes a deep breath, steading his shaky voice. “But you called Sebastián. I know he was an ex, and a familiar comfort. But you could have called me too. Ever since the day you announced your engagement, I’ve always wondered why you never called me, too.” He leans his head back on the couch, defeated.
“Evan,” I say softly as I take both of our bowls and place them on the coffee table, then turn my body in his direction while placing his hand in mine. Almost instinctively he interlaces our fingers and faces me. “I wanted to call you. I thought about it countless times.”
“What stopped you?” he asks while his thumb sweetly brushes against mine.
“The truth?” I pause.
“Always. Please.”
“I obviously wasn’t in a good place, and the thought of calling you and having you fly out just to see me space out during dinner, or see me crying while doing the dishes… I just couldn’t do it. I’ve pathetically spent most of my life trying to present myself to you in the most flattering light possible. And while mourning my mother, I didn’t have the energy to do that, but I also wasn’t willing to be vulnerable and be hurt by you.”
“Why would you think I’d hurt you?” Evan asks.
“Everyone hurts me Evan,” I say the words before my brain can stop them. I don’t even realize I’m crying until I feel Evan use his free hand to wipe a tear from my face.
“Baby, please don’t cry,” Evan begs.
I take a few shallow breaths. “Please don’t call me baby. My heart can’t handle you in peak Evan Cooper form.” I faintly smile as I will the tears away.
He squeezes my hand. “I want to tell you so many things. How I’d never hurt you, how I would always be honest and loyal to you, but I know you probably don’t have a lot of faith in men right now. So I’ll save my speech for another time.” He kisses my hand that is intertwined with his.
“Well, you kinda just gave me the cliff notes, so it’s good enough for now I guess.” I laugh. “Can we please get out of this funk and salvage the rest of the night?” I plead.
“What can I do to make you feel better? Name it.” He lifts an eyebrow.
There he is. Playful Evan, my favorite. “Hmmm decisions, decisions,” I say as I tap my chin repeatedly. “Oh there’s this new true crime series on Netflix that I’ve been dying to see. Nothing like serial killers and small town detectives to cheer me right up!” I glee.
“So basically you want to Netflix and chill… all you had to do was ask,” he teases as he begins to tower over me on the couch and smother my cheeks with sloppy kisses.
“Uhh get off of me, you’re a slobbery Saint Bernard!” I say in a fit of laughter.
He finally concludes his mauling of my face and stands up. He reaches both hands out, a silent invitation to stand with him. I put my hands in his and he lifts me into a much-needed embrace. Our height difference makes me feel tiny in his arms, but then he rests his chin on my head and we create the perfect mold.
How can something so confusing feel so right?
I squeeze further into his hold and feel him release a big sigh.
“You ok up there, big guy?” I ask as I tip my head up and back to look him in the eyes. What I didn’t intend was for our lips to be mere inches apart.
“Yeah. I’m good, Amelia. And you will be too,” he says as he moves his hands to the back of my neck, letting his thumbs rub my jawline and cheek.
Oh my God. This is it. It’s happening! Evan Cooper is about to kiss me!
I close my eyes in anticipation as I feel him lean down towards me. I feel like it’s taking a million years for those lips to travel down to mine. And when they finally touch me, I realize they haven’t traveled far enough.
He kisses me on the forehead. Again.
What the hell?!
Before I can wrap my head around that major let down, Evan is out of my arms and headed towards the couch furthest from us and grabs the tv remote.
