I tried the door, but it wouldn’t open. “Iosif, let me go, what are you doing?” He was kidnapping me, and there was no one around to stop him.
Leaning closer, he placed a cloth over my mouth and nose. I felt my lungs burning for a moment before my eyes closed.
I woke as he was pulling me out of the car. The area around us was dark, but an open motel door was to the side. “Iosif,” I said as loudly as I could. Which wasn’t very loud as my throat felt closed up. “Let me go.”
As I pulled and pushed, I felt his grip on me tighten and loosen. He was struggling to keep me in his grip. “Stop your struggling,” he huffed as he picked me up and flung me over his shoulder.
I didn’t stop, I kept on fighting him, I wanted him to let go of me. We were on the side of the motel, and there were no other cars in the lot. I didn’t know what he wanted or what his intentions were. I just knew I had to get away.
No one would ever find me here. I swallowed hard as my mind started going places I didn’t want to know about. The more I struggled, the tighter his grip became. He unlocked the door and moved inside.
Once the door was closed behind him, he flung me down on the bed. I jumped up and swung at him. He blocked my punch and grabbed my wrists. Lifting my leg, I tried kicking him, but he bounced back like a rabbit.
“Let me go, you barbarian,” I said harshly.
He smiled slightly, only aggravating me more. “I’m just trying to save your life,” he huffed as he pushed me back to the bed.
“Let me go, you asshole, my brother will have your head for this!” I spat as I jumped at him again.
He grabbed my wrists again and stared at me. I could see the anger flaring up in his eyes. Yet, it had a kind of protectiveness, as I have seen in Kolya’s eyes when it came to me. His voice was deep when he replied. “You don’t need an explanation now. We will talk once you are safe.”
I was dumbfounded. Why was he acting so crazed, so protective? There was something in him I didn’t understand. I struggled to control my anger. I yelled at him, but not so that others would notice. Just loud enough to get his attention. “What the fuck. That’s not an answer!”
He looked like he was ready to continue the argument, but then his eyes fell on the scratches. The ones he gave me during our struggles.
Grabbing my arm, he pulled me with him as he moved into the bathroom. Our eyes met as he spoke. “Sit down, let me look at those. Please, no argument. One thing at a time.”
Frowning, I did as I was told. He still held my arm, and I thought it best to cooperate. I would look for the right opportunity to break away. Now, wasn’t it, plus, he seemed intent on tending to my scratches.
I had to fight my instinct to kick and claw at him. Even though I knew it wouldn’t help, as his grip was still tight. His hands on me started softening me up. As he gently tended to the scratches, I felt a warmth crawling in. The ointment stung slightly, and I flinched.
My eyes were focused on his expression as the cotton lightly touched each wound. His brows furrowed with each application as I flinched. There was something different in the way he touched me. Iosif was gentle, cleaning each abrasion with tenderness.
He was nothing like he was a couple of minutes ago. No cruelty, no forceful actions. Each application was delicate. It was like he was suddenly overly careful. It was almost disorientating. His hands were steady despite the situation.
Iosif pressed the cotton against my skin, then moved slowly, cleaning the blood. Glancing down, I noticed a couple of drops had stained my clothing. There was an odd calmness to his touch. Like he was trying to wipe away the violence he imposed on me.
But how could he? How can you undo something like this? His cold, ruthless grip, his harsh words, the way he dragged me out of my life? There was too much force, he left me powerless. I wasn’t about to forgive those things. No matter how soft and gentle he was now.
I shifted slightly. I wanted to escape from his proximity. His grip tightened for a second, then loosened. I was sure he could sense my hesitation. His fingers brushed up my arm. I couldn’t help the shudder going through me.
There was something hypnotic about him. Some vibes he gave off made my pulse race despite the fear I felt or the anger rushing through me. He appeared so calm and in control. I couldn’t understand it.
How could someone like him be capable of such brutality and then, in moments, show tenderness? His eyes met mine briefly, a mere split second, but it was enough to see the guilt, or maybe it was regret.
Lowering my gaze, I wondered if I was imagining it. Perhaps it was my own desperation coming through. My mind was trying to keep me calm and make sense of it all.
“Stay still, please,” he whispered as he continued. His voice was even lower than before, almost soothing. Yet, it did nothing to ease the tension coiling in my chest. Then, his hand comes up to my chin. He so softly tilts my head up. I wanted to fight it, but for some reason, my body wouldn’t react.
I feel my breath catching in my chest as our eyes meet. He held the gaze for a moment as if daring me to look away. Something in the way he took care of my wounds shifted my idea of him. He wasn’t the same man who dragged me away just moments ago. Why was he behaving this way? What had shifted or changed?
It made me question what I knew about him. My feelings were running wild, mixed up between wanting to scream and wanting a hug. He had no right to be gentle with me. Why was he confusing me like this?
How could a monster like him become a gentleman? Was it possible to shift from not caring to whatever this was so easily? I didn’t want to admit that I noticed the change, that I felt anything other than anger and disgust.
There was chaos underneath the terror. It was making it harder for me to control my emotions. Yet, I knew I couldn’t trust him. Not even for a moment. I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything other than distrust. I wondered what game he was playing now.
“Sorry,” he said softly. Sitting back, he looked at me. There was softness in his eyes. “All done,” he added as he got up.
