I sit up straight. ‘Freya’s had the baby?’
‘No, no, she’s still waddling around the village with ankles the size of arms. What’s that about?’
‘Poor Freya. She should be elevating her legs and resting.’
‘Yeah, apparently… Wait.’ Her eyes narrow. ‘There’s something different about you? What is it?’
I sigh. ‘There’s nothing.’
‘Your cheeks are flushed.’
‘What great powers of deduction you have, Poirot. It’s bloody freezing here. I’ve spent most of the day outside in the snow. Therefore my cheeks are flushed, the tip of my nose is an ice block and my socks are wet through. In fact, I’m desperate to jump in the shower and warm up. So… the news?’
‘No, it’s not just that. There’s a sparkle in your eyes. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but you’re different.’
‘Rox. What’s the news? You wave that carrot at me then go off on a tangent about the sparkle in my eyes, for crying out loud. It’s not like you to speak so whimsically.’
Behind her, Catty Roan is attempting to swipe a glass from the counter. You get the cat you deserve, and Roan is Rox in feline form. ‘I can spot it a mile away when you’re withholding the truth from me.’
‘You cannot.’ OK, she can, but I’m not going to admit that, am I? I should inform Rox that she’s about to have one almighty mess to clean up, but a smashed glass might get me out of this jam, so I stay silent about the hijinks happening behind her.
‘Ah!’ She clicks her fingers up at the screen, so I don’t miss her theatrics. ‘It’s that guy, isn’t it? Jasper. Did something happen? Bring your face closer to the camera. I want to inspect it for clues, you and your lying eyes!’ Rox’s voice rises in excitement, which catches Roan’s attention, and her little paw retreats, dammit.
‘I will do no such thing. A minute ago, I had a sparkle in my eyes – and now I have lying eyes? I’ve got whiplash from this chat, Rox. Can you tell me the news please so I can get in the shower, before the frostbite sets in?’
‘No, I cannot, not until you tell me what happened to you.’
She’s like a dog with a bone. I’ll never get the so-called news until I give her some meaty bits.
‘You are infuriating. If my toes die and fall off I’m never going to forgive you.’
‘That’s a risk I’m prepared to take.’
‘Why, because they’re not your toes?’
Rox drops her head, giving me a look that impliesduh. ‘Stop stalling. Did you kiss? Or dare I hope for more? If you did, how does he rate? Top ten, top three? Dare I hope he’s taken up the number-one spot on the podium? After some of the duds you’ve dated, it wouldn’t be hard for him to snag pole position, would it?’
I roll my eyes. ‘I don’t score men like they’re Uber drivers, Rox, and it’s also not very politically correct these days either.’
Catty Roan has grown bored of our conversation (that makes two of us) and is back to tapping at the glass, which now sits perilously close to the edge of the bench. ‘Oh please, everyone does it.’
‘I don’t.’
‘Well, maybe that’s what’s wrong with your love life. Yeah, sure, you want to find a sweet caring man, but unless he’s dynamite in the sack, what’s the point?’ Rox’s only saying all these inflammatory things to get me to fess up.
‘Oh God, I’m not having this chat with you right now.’
‘It’s like talking to a bucket of rocks! Can I have some details or what?’
I make a show of huffing and puffing, mostly to keep her in suspense, the usual sibling microaggression. ‘Fine. There was a brief moment of madness at the market.’ A flush blooms, and my body warms at the memory. ‘I don’t even know what caused it. One minute we were sharing little gifts we’d got for one another, and the next minute there was this overwhelming sizzle of attraction, and we kissed under the mistletoe. Just a peck really. Nothing earth-shattering.’ It was a little earth-shattering in all honesty, but I play it down.
‘You kissed a guy! You kissed a guy without the requisite time of processing a break-up. And after being jilted! Well, I’d expected that processing time to last even longer. Far out, this is real progress! You’d normally go into spinster mode, shut the blinds, sign up: closed for business for the foreseeable. Padlock the chastity belt, throw away the key.’
‘Wow, what a visual, thanks, Rox.’ I silently will Roan to use a bit more force. The mischievous cat can usually swipe a glass, a mug, hell, even a full bottle of wine off the bench in a few swats. ‘You speak as if I’ve had lots of breakups when I’ve only had a few serious relationships, and yes, after those I might have put some boundaries in place, and made time to recalibrate and figure out what went wrong…’ And then it dawns on me that she’s right. I would never usually move so fast after.
‘Well, those breakups are memorable for how long you took yourself out of the dating pool, I guess. So, you had what sounds like a rather innocent peck under the mistletoe, then what happened?’
‘Nothing. Sabrina – who works on the train – came along and we all went to another section of the market.’
