‘Yeah, fake.’
Gran laughs. ‘How glorious. And your mother never suspected?’
‘No, I paid Posy to lie about witnessing the tumble off my bike and a faux hospital visit. I’d made a cast myself weeks before that I could slip in and out of.’ And boy did Posy make me pay, she insisted on double what I offered her, but I figured it was worth it. Plus, she’d been forced to keep my secret because she’d been part of the ruse.
‘Genuis.’
‘School swimming should be illegal.’
‘Well, my darling, as I see it, you’re quite suitable for a bit of hijinks. You’ve been pulling these scams your whole life.’
‘Only to avoid situations I feel uncomfortable in. You know, like fake-dating, for example.’ Really what choice do we have if she won’t loan money from anyone?
Hand on her chest, she leans back on the sun lounger. ‘Why … I don’t feel so good suddenly. It might be my heart.’
I narrow my eyes, having seen this scenario being acted out one too many times in the past. ‘That might work with Mom, but it won’t with me.’
‘What?’
‘The fragile old lady bit. Against my better judgement, I’ll accept your mission, only if youpromiseme, you won’t tell Mom about any of my priors. The less she knows the better.’ Golly, if my mom knew half the pranks I’ve pulled she’d enforce some kind of backbreaking community work, so I learned my lesson or something. It doesn’t bear thinking about.
‘My lips are sealed, darling. As if I’d ever spill your secrets, as juicy as they are.’
‘They were all done in the name of self-preservation, Gran.’
‘Yes, darling, but you really must learn to always be unpredictable and cover your tracks. Always, I repeat,alwayshave an alibi.’
I raise a brow. ‘Speaking from experience?’
She stares me down. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
All this alibi talk reminds me of Gran’s husband number five. Jimmy from Australia who suffered horrifically in a rare drop-bear attack. Gran had been miles away, crewing in the Sydney to Hobart yacht race so she couldn’t have been involved. And it’s not like she could have orchestrated a drop bear to fatally attack the guy. They’re wild animals! For some reason, the detective from Australia had been extremely suspicious of Gran, but her alibi was rock solid. Another case of a man in power trying to intimidate a defenceless woman.
‘So, darling. How are you going to engender your first date with the hunky Georgios? Who knows, you might actually fall in love with the guy and I’ll get to keep you on my island.’
‘Urgh, I hardly think so. Hollyweird calls, remember? I’m determined to find myself another book scout job, by using all the connections I don’t have.’
‘I know people in the movie biz. I could easily make a few calls once you’ve completed your Santorini mission.’
I shake my head. ‘Thanks, Gran, but I’d prefer to do it on my own merits.’
‘Sure, I respect that.’
‘Where will I find Georgios? And how do I even try and chat the guy up?’ Even the thought of such a thing is enough to make me want to curl up in the foetal position. But I must do this for my beloved Gran, who despite her adoration of me, will go through with blackmail if she has to. There are some secrets from the past that are best left buried.
Gran holds her glass out for a top-up. The woman can sure put it away. ‘Georgios is always at Kamari Beach, hence the stunning tan on that stunning body. As for chatting him up, you read romance novels every day. Just follow the script.’
A meet-cute …? ‘Gah. Are you hearing all of this, Sir Spud?’ I say, bending to him as he lies supine, tongue lolling to one side, scratching his back on the grass. ‘What have I got myself into?’
Chapter 7
A couple of days later I don what resembles a Hazmat suit and plonk on some goggles and gloves. My first bathing attempt of the pooches did not go well. This time I’m prepared to battle the gang of six. They might think they have the upper hand, but they do not. Not today. Not when I have very informative dog-wrangling advice from TikTok on my side. Despite appearing utterly ridiculous, I wind plastic wrap around my forehead and lather it with lashings of peanut butter.
Outside, the dogs bark not recognising me in my waterproof disguise. ‘It’s me!’ I say holding some dog treats in my gloved hand. All of them bar Lily approach me. Ruled by their stomachs. Gotcha!
‘Who is up first then? I’m looking at you, Pee Wee.’ They give me blank stares, which I now know from experience means they know exactly what’s going on. The gang of six are as canny as Gran and it seems fitting she’d rescued this motley group who are as clever as she is. But not today. I will win this battle!
I grab Pee Wee, who barks and shows his teeth. ‘Be nice, Pee Wee.’ I place him gently in the outside tub full of frothy lukewarm water. I duck my head so he can lick the peanut butter while I soap him up but instead, he turns his nose up as if it’s below him. Huh. TikTok experts advised this was a sure-fire way to distract dogs when you bathe them.
