Her eyes twinkle with mischievousness. ‘Yes! What fun! However Ididn’tknow his grandson Georgios would be visiting from America, which has thrown a bit of a spanner in the works. Alas, there’s an easy fix for the likes of him.’ She lets out a throaty chuckle that implies she’s up to no good.
Inexplicably my mind goes to the many accidents that may befall a person around Santorini. Those cliffs, they’re a killer.
Gran continues, ‘You’re going to woo Georgios. The man is going to be putty in your hands, Evie. And that will buy me some time for the problem-solving I’ve got to do.’ She claps hard as if giving herself a round of applause for coming up with such a daring plan. I’m all for celebrating wins but this,theseare the mutterings of a mad person. ‘I do love a good challenge and I’m in the thick of one here. Keeps one’s soul alive, darling!’
So she’s not joking? ‘Hang on – what? Are you suggesting that your bright idea to save this place is to pimp me out? Absolutely no way!’ I’m not sure if the alcohol in the ouzotini lulled me into a false sense of security but I did not see that coming. And I really should have. Nothing is ever simple in my family.
‘Oh please. Pimp you out! What do you take me for? All you have to do isfake-date the guy, darling. A few walks along the beach. A candlelit dinner or two. Some alone time under the magnificent starry Santorini sky. It’s the only way I can think to keep them sweet until I sort all my troubles out. Unless you have a better idea?’
‘I mean, you could easily borrow money from Mom. There’s one idea.’
Her eyes go hard. ‘Over my cold dead body. I’d never hear the end of it. If she finds out that I’m having money troubles she’ll start rummaging around in my affairs – oh who am I kidding, she probably already is!’
Yikes!
‘Posy then?’ She has more money than sense but who am I to judge?
Gran scoffs. ‘Lend money from my precious granddaughter? That’s a low I will not stoop to.’ Shy skittish Lily slinks in and out between Gran’s ankles before taking up position under the shade of her chair, her fearful gaze darting this way and that as if she’s not quite sure about her new home.
‘Yet, you’d allow your otherpreciousgranddaughter to fake-date a guy because you’re too proud to ask for a loan from family?’
She chugs back the rest of her cocktail and holds the glass out for another. ‘Yes, that’s exactly right, Evie. This whole scenario would befake, therefore, I’m hardly the flesh peddler you’re making me out to be. And come on, it would be fun, would it not?’
I’m aghast. I have no words. There are so many problems with this scenario I don’t even know where to begin. And I rue the fact that I’m the financially poor grandchild who doesn’t have enough dough to bail out my wild Gran. What are the chances? Now I’m left with this outrageous proposition. ‘You know this is my worst nightmare. Plus, he’s really not my type.’
‘I have every faith in you. Do it for your dear old Gran, darling?’ The helpless little old lady persona comes back into play.
I cock my head. She knows that gets to me every time, dammit. While it’s glaringly obvious it’s a farce, a ploy, a put-on, it’s hard to ignore. ‘It won’t work.’
‘Why?’
Zeus bounds over and throws himself in my lap as if he believes he’s a lapdog and not a large breed. For a moment we teeter backwards on the chair before I right it. He stinks to high heaven, and I bet I’ll have a battle on my hands trying to bathe the cheeky mutt. I gently ease him to the ground and pat his matted fur. ‘Because he’s the epitome of a Greek god, and I’m … me.’
She frowns. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Gran. I’m not the flirty, giggly, hair-flicking, oozes-confidence type that I suspect Georgios is used to.’
‘Which is why you’re perfect, Evie. Not just for this mission, but for whoever the lucky man is who steals your heart. Youdon’tfit in; you stand out because you don’t pretend to be anything other than you. A beautiful bookworm sprite, who only allows special people into her world.’
Gran’s always been this way with me. Shoring me up, heaping me with praise for not changing the real me when everyone else is always trying to. Telling me that my lack of social skills arenota lack, they’re a superpower. Over the years it’s given me the confidence to remain true to myself and stand firm when I need to. Or lie if the situation calls for it so I can avoid peopling in a more socially acceptable, polite way. However, Gran still expects me to fake-date a guy, so I can’t let her win that easily. ‘You’re trying to soften me up so I’ll accept your ludicrous mission.’
Fluffball Sir Spud barks as if agreeing with me.
Gran trains her vivid blue-eyed gaze on me. There’s so much vibrancy to her that time never dulls. I love her with every fibre of my being, even though she’s untameable and wild with it.
‘Will buttering up work? Because if so let me count the ways I love you. And if that’s a no-go, may I remind you how many times I lied to your mother on your behalf when I knew you were the culprit. Who doesn’t love a bit of blackmail, eh? Let’s see, there was that time you skipped a week of school because you were under a cloud of suspicion over the emptying of the Olympic-sized swimming pool prank.’ She does an intimidation stare-down worthy of my mother. ‘You did it, didn’t you?’
I bite down on my lip. Is there any point lying now? Zeus trains his suspicious eyes on me with an almost human gaze, as if he’s expecting me to fess up too. Soon all the dogs are staring at me in the same way, as if they’re waiting out the truth. I can’t lie under this kind of scrutiny! ‘Fine.Yeah, I did it. It’s one thing to wear swimwear at the beach, quite another at school with a bunch of hormonal boys making lewd comments. The CCTV cameras were switched off that night, so they didn’t have enough evidence to catch the perpetrator.’
‘Lucky. But they still suspected you?’
‘Not lucky. I disabled the poolside CCTV. But what I didn’t stop to consider were the cameras in the car park. The principal narrowed it down to five suspects, but she couldn’t prove for sure who it was.’ Pee Wee comes bounding over with a chew toy in his mouth, which he promptly dumps in my lap, as though now I’ve told the truth we can become friends.
‘A near miss.’
‘I was more careful the following year.’
‘The broken leg?’
