I suck back a sob and grab his hands, fresh anger surging through me. I should have spoken these words last night. Instead, I threw myself into his arms, lost myself in his kiss. Now, I resent my brother all over again for forcing this cruelty on us both in the most humiliating way possible.
“Bram insists on being present when I do. He wants Lucan to witness as well.”
So there can be no question, no dispute. Not that there should be. Ice’s magical signature will reflect the fact I’ve Renounced him.
My beloved warrior curses. “Determined to make this as difficult as possible, is he?”
I can’t deny that. But the Bram who emerged from Mathias’s evil black cloud spares no thought for my anguish or Ice’s. He’ll probably celebrate Ice’s humiliation. I’ve argued until I ran out of words. Bram refused to budge.
“So it seems.” My throat closes up, and I have no idea how I’ll force the next words out of my mouth. “He…also insists you witness Lucan’s Call.”
And my Binding to him.
“Bloody fucking bastard,” Ice spits, his grip tightening around my fingers. “I can’t. I can’t promise that I won’t kill Lucan.”
“I understand.” If our roles were reversed, I couldn’t watch him pledge his life to another. I certainly couldn’t do it without falling apart. “I’ll manage without you.”
And leave her to face all the emotional fallout? “No. I won’t send you off alone. You need me, and I’ll be there.”
My heart swells with love again for this big, selfless wizard.
I would have sworn that I had no more tears to cry. I was wrong. “I’ll never know a man as good as you, Isdernus.”
“You have my heart always.” Ice closes his eyes, frowns, then presses his forehead to mine. We share a breath, another hidden moment in time, before he eases away. “Time to go.”
With my hand tucked in his, Ice leads me from his bedroom. I follow him down a winding hall filled with closed doors. At the intersection of two paths, he stops at the entrance to an open room, an office of sorts with a cluttered desk, a worn brown sofa, threadbare rugs. A neglected layer of dust and an air of hopelessness linger.
Inside, Bram paces, his mad steps taking him across the room in a few short movements before he pivots and repeats his trek in angry, inelegant strides. Lucan perches on the edge of the sofa, watching him with a pensive stare. Both gazes whip to the front of the room when we appear.
“It’s well past dawn. You’re late,” Bram barks.
I’m well aware that he hasn’t been himself since coming to consciousness after Mathias’s black cloud of a spell, but right now, I want to scream at my brother to stop being a prick and to leave me the bloody hell alone. Unfortunately, that won’t accomplish anything but infuriating my already agitated brother.
Ice has no such compunction. He tucks me behind him, clenches his fists at his sides, and lays into Bram. “Your sister is doing everything she possibly can to save everyone’s skin. She doesn’t need your fucking harassment, you wanking bastard.”
Bram’s eyes narrow as he takes in my trembling form and Ice’s protective stance. “Shut the door.”
With a furious kick, Ice sends it slamming into the portal. “There. I’ve given you the roof over my head, the hope out of my soul, and the heart out of my chest. Don’t ever ask me for anything again.”
God, this is killing Ice as much as it’s destroying me. I wish for the millionth time I knew of some way to stop my mating to Lucan. I feel Lucan’s eyes on me, but I can’t bear to look at him. How will I spend tonight—and the rest of my days—as his mate?
I don’t have a choice; nothing has changed.
Bram sniffs me. “You spent the night in his bed.”
He hurls it like an accusation, and my temper spills over. “I spent it where I wished to, and it’s none of your business, dear brother, how or with whom. I don’t know what the devil happened to you since you awakened from Mathias’s spell, but you’re acting like a bullying prat. Be happy I’m here at all. And stop doing your utmost to make this unpleasant for me and humiliating for Ice.”
My brother rolls tense shoulders. “I seem in short supply of patience to curb my tongue or temper. For your sake, I’ll say no more. Speak the Renunciation to Rykard. Now.”
Already? Bram’s words crash through me, ripping away all happiness and hope. I remind myself that I’ll be doing good for magickind. Somehow, that has to be enough.
Hands shaking, I turn to Ice. Fresh tears sting my eyes. I can’t not look at him, can’t dodge that green gaze that burns with love and regret and ultimate pain.
“You will remain a part of me, though I am…” No part of you.
The words echo in my head—no part of you—but I cannot speak them. Cannot voice the lie.
My lips part. The only thing that emerges is a sob.
