“Donny!” Mateo growls, snatching the pizza back from him. “What the fuck?”
“She said I could eat it!” Donny protests.
Mateo glares at him before turning a softer look to me. “You have to eat something, baby. You turned down Colton’s bacon and eggs this morning. And you love bacon.”
It’s true. I do. I just haven’t had much of an appetite lately. My mind has been so cluttered with all the swirling thoughts of everything going wrong in my life, that it’s affecting both my mental and physical health.
“You need the energy,” Colton says. “Can’t have you lightheaded or passing out at cheer practice.”
He’s right. I should be eating. Yesterday, at practice, I almost fell on my ass, but thankfully, I caught myself. I thought no one noticed, but of course Trevor did, and I got an earful about needing to quit the team.
That's not happening. I need this team. Cheering is my life. It’s the only thing left that's keeping me from losing my mind. Without cheer, I’d have way too much time to think, and I can’t even imagine the damage that would cause.
“It’s the stress, isn’t it?” Mateo asks, and my eyes snap over to him.
“What?”
“About thewedding.” He spits the word like it’s poison on his tongue.
The wedding. Lennox and Missi’s wedding.
My stomach turns, my nausea intensifying at the memory of Thanksgiving.
I slept with Lennox. A man who’s engaged. Who’s getting married next week.
How stupid am I? And without a condom! Knowing Missi, and the way she got around before stealing Lennox from us, she’s probably collecting diseases like Pokemon.
The smart thing would have been to go to the clinic and get tested, but I’d like to believe that Lennox would still have somedecency not to risk my health like that. Plus, he said he hasn’t slept with her, but who knows if that was the truth, or just another lie to get me to sleep with him.
“It’s not good, Rylee,” Colton says. “You're really starting to worry us. What's going on? Is it really just the wedding, or is there something more?”
My eyes catch on Trevor, who’s standing behind Mateo. He heard what Colton just asked, and by the look in his eyes, I know he wants me to use this opening to tell them about the baby.
I can’t. I just can’t. And I know it’s wrong of me to keep avoiding this, but it wouldn’t be just me telling them about the baby. I'd have to tell them that I lost it.
So, in a moment of panic, I let my mouth do the talking, hoping that if I let something off my chest, from the ever growing pile of lies I seem to be collecting, I’ll be able to breathe just a little bit better.
“I slept with Lennox,” I blurt, and all four sets of eyes stare at me, growing wide.
My heart beats painfully in my chest as I wait for someone to say something. The guilt has been eating at me a lot more than the whole baby thing has.
Maybe it’s because I’m not as in denial about still being in love with Lennox as I am about everything else.
“Ahh, we know that. You’ve slept with him more times than I have fingers,” Donny says, breaking the silence.
“No.” I shake my head, sweat breaking out down my back as my body grows tingly with unease over how they’re going to react. “Recently.”
“What?” Mateo growls, and real fear spikes through me. “When?”
“Thanksgiving.” I lick my lips, my breathing increasing. “He… ah, he showed up while I was cleaning,” I start, rubbingmy sweaty palms up and down my thighs. “He was drunk. Looked real rough too.”
“Of course, he was.” Mateo shakes his head. “Did he force you?”
“What?” My eyes widen. “No. No, nothing like that.”
“So, how the hell did you end up sleeping with him?” Mateo demands, while everyone else keeps quiet, not seeming to know what to think about this.
My eyes fill with tears as I swallow hard. “I’m sorry, okay? I had a moment of weakness. I still love him, okay? And I know you do too,” I say to Mateo. “Losing him has been some of the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life.”
