“I’ll be there,” Kristen says from her place at the table.
“Where’s that?” Nana asks sleepily.
“Nowhere, Nana,” Kristen says. But she looks at Lorna. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
Lorna is relieved. Someone on her side.
“Lolo, you look like you’re going to pass out,” Kristen says. She gets up from the table and comes forward. “Has anyone everworked as hard as you at anything? No. It’s going to be fine. And you know what? After it’s over, you and I can go for pizza.”
“That would be great,” Lorna says.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Mom says.
Kristen rolls her eyes. “Stay out of it, Mom.” She smiles at Lorna, then pushes some of her hair back into the bun she’s supposed to wear. “Remember, look at the back wall. If you don’t see them, they can’t see you. And project,” she says, tapping Lorna’s belly. “You’re going to do great.”
“Don’t get her too hyped up,” Mom says.
Kristen whips around. “Why can’t you be supportive?” she shouts.
“I’m not going to pretend she’s Pavarotti when she’s not,” Mom shouts back, and they begin to argue. Lorna goes outside to wait for Mom. She’s thankful for Kristen’s pep talk, but she fears Mom is right—she’s not that good.
After Mom drops her off at the school, Mr. Sanders runs through the music one more time. Then they board a school bus to go to the neighboring district’s performing arts center for the contest. There, they stand in a circle holding hands before heading onstage. “We are here because we have Knight pride. We are going to win. We will beat Westwood and stand victorious!” They all begin to chant, “Go, Knights! Go, Knights! Go, Knights!” Lorna swallows down a swell of nausea and nerves.
They file onstage. Lorna is shocked to see the auditorium is full. There are other choirs from other local high schools. Parents, teachers, and who knows who else. She is so jittery she can hardly stand. She takes deep breaths like Mr. Sanders taught her.
When it comes time for her solo, she moves to the front of the stage.The golem is in place.The music begins, and she opens her mouth, and the first notes come out of her, clear and loud enough. But just then, there is a terrible commotion in the audience. Lornatakes her gaze off the back wall and looks down to see Kristen and some guy tripping over people to get in the front row. They are giggling and loose-limbed and shushing each other too loudly. She knows instantly that Kristen has been using something. Kristen looks up and sees Lorna, waves, and then slides down in her seat, telling the guy to be quiet, saying loud enough for Lorna to hear, “That’s my sister.”
Lorna’s stomach churns. Mr. Sanders starts the song over. Lorna begins to sing, but she can’t take her eyes off Kristen and that boy. He is looking around, like he wants something, speaking to people behind him. Kristen slaps his arm hard, and he barks at her. Lorna is still singing, her voice wobbling, her pitch breathy—she can hear she is off-key. The chaos unfolding in front of her causes acid to churn in her belly. When the boy begins to laugh, Lorna’s anxiety reaches a sickening threshold she can’t contain. She takes a step, intending to flee before the unthinkable happens, but it is too late. She vomits on the stage. The crowd cries out. The contest is disrupted and she flees, choking on tears and mortification and another swell of nausea. How can life be so cruel?
She doesn’t know what happened after. How the vomit was cleaned up. How the choir continued. How the contest ended. Even who won. On the bus back to school, no one will speak to her. Someone says she stinks like vomit. Jake Nucci finally takes pity on her and tells her Mr. Sanders sang her part and they came in third overall.
Lorna doesn’t know what is more disappointing—that she lost control and cost them the win? Or that Kristen is using again?
Chapter 20Lorna Now
Mr. sanders was surprisingly easy to find. he had to be in his seventies now, maybe even his eighties, but he was active on social media. He was no longer a teacher, of course, but he was a church youth director at one of the megachurches in town, and he had his own website. It announced he was putting on a musical, and rehearsals forThe Curse of the Moneylenders(which, the website noted, was written and scored by Mr. Sanders himself) were happening from five to seven every night this week.
Lorna couldn’t wait to tell Bean. After their visit to Pflugerville, she’d told him there was something else she regretted and someone else she should probably apologize to. Bean was quite excited about the prospect of a choir. “I don’t have my singing badge yet,” he said.
There was a badge for everything, she guessed.
Bean wasn’t due to come over after school today as he had a Ranger Explorer meeting, and Seth was picking him up. When Lorna heard the truck on the gravel patch, she went to the door, hoping to catch him.
The front door squeaked open (Mr. Contreras really needed to oil a few hinges) at the same time she opened her apartment door and stuck out her head. Bean didn’t see her—he slammedthe front door on Seth, then stalked toward his apartment without looking right or left. He took out a key and shoved it into the lock, opened the door, went inside, and slammed it too.
Lorna was stunned. She’d never seen Bean like that.
“Hey.”
She hadn’t even noticed Seth slipping into the house. She stepped out of her door and waited for an explanation.
Seth smiled sheepishly. “Sorry about that. Bean’s pretty upset with me.”
“Why?”
“It was his turn to bring snacks to the Rangers and I forgot to pick them up. And I haven’t managed to find a blue vest for his badges. Apparently, he is the only kid without one.”
Lorna blinked. She almost said out loud that was unacceptable but managed to hold her tongue. Surely Seth knew there was nothing worse than being the only one who didn’t have what the other kids had. Like a happy family, for example. “That sucks,” she said flatly, unable to let her indignation for Bean go.
