“You’re a good kid, Lolo,” she says, and turns her attention to the window again. She has adopted that faraway look, like she has stomped out of the room with Kristen.
Lorna opens another present. This one is from Kristen, and it’s a hit—a Rubik’s Cube. Everyone wants a Rubik’s Cube. She can’t wait to show Callie. She immediately starts to work it.
Mom lights another cigarette. Nana gets up and goes into the kitchen. Lorna can hear her taking the bottle off the top of the fridge.
Lorna searches under the tree. She gives her mother a gift from her—she made it in ceramics class. It’s an ashtray shaped like a frog. Her mother sets it aside and doesn’t open it. Lorna finds another gift for herself. It’s from Kristen. She opens it—and sees the new Bon Jovi CD,These Days. “I got the CD!” she exclaims as Nana comes back into the room with a coffeetumbler. Lorna can’t see the booze, but by now she recognizes the scent.
“That’s wonderful!” Nana says dreamily and sits in her recliner.
Lorna searches under the tree for the CD player. It must be here. There is another gift for Kristen from Mom, but nothing for Lorna. She sinks back on her heels in disappointment.
Later, Lorna is in her room, staring out at the rain. She’s already lost interest in the Rubik’s Cube. It’s too hard to figure out. She still can’t believe she didn’t get a portable CD player. Everyone has one but her.
She hears voices and glances toward her door. That’s her mother, shouting again. She gets up and cracks open the door. Mom and Kristen are fighting. They fight all the time now. Every time Lorna hears them, she feels nauseous, like she’s the one who has done something wrong.
“Don’t lie to me!” Mom shouts. “I know what this is, Kristen. It is forbidden in this house! And with your sister just next door.”
“She’s fine,” Kristen shouts back. “Can you just stay out of my room? You have no right to go through my things!”
“That is not your room!” her mother bellows. “You are borrowing it!”
Lorna crawls into bed with the Rubik’s Cube and tries to distract herself from the scene unraveling in the hall. It doesn’t work. Sometime later, she hears the front door slam and knows Kristen is gone.
They haven’t had Christmas dinner yet.
That night, Kristen comes home after everyone has gone to sleep. She sneaks into Lorna’s room and sits on the edge of her bed. She smells like weed and beer. Lorna hates being around Kristen when she’s been drinking; she can be mean. “Hey, let me see the Rubik’s Cube.”
Lorna fell asleep with it in her bed and hands it now to hersister. Kristen tries to solve it a few times, then tosses it aside. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out the bracelet. “This is for you.”
Lorna stares at the bracelet. “That’s yours. I can’t take it.”
“Sure you can. It’s mine, and I want you to have it. The Barbie was lame.”
It was lame, all right. Lorna looks at the sobriety bracelet. She suspects a joke, a prank. But Kristen holds it out to her. “Take it. Ignore the numbers. Or count something you want to count. Or better yet, sell the damn thing and get a CD player.”
Lorna puts the bracelet on her wrist and admires it. It’s pretty; gold, with crystal beads between the numbered beads.
Kristen pulls out a joint from her jacket and holds it up. “Want to try?”
“No,” Lorna says instantly.
“Come on, it’s not so bad.” Kristen smiles. “You’re listening to Mom too much. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s harmless. You can’t get addicted to pot.”
“I’m not listening to Mom,” Lorna says defensively. She’s listening to her gut. There is no part of her that wants to try. She associates that cigarette and that smell with trouble.
“Mom makes pot sound like heroin, and they’re not even remotely the same. This will help you sleep.” She produces a lighter and fires it up, taking a long drag. She blows the smoke toward the ceiling, then holds the cigarette out to Lorna. “Just try it. Don’t be such a chicken. When you go to high school, people will think you’re a nerd if you don’t try things.”
That’s what does it, the threat of being labeled a nerd before she’s even graduated eighth grade. She’s got enough strikes against her—taller than everyone, clumsy, some god-awful hair. She reluctantly takes the cigarette, inhales, and then coughs violently. Her throat burns.
“Keep it down,” Kristen warns. “If Mom hears you, she’ll be in here in a minute.”
Lorna tries again. This time she swallows her cough. She holds her breath as Kristen instructs her and feels a lightness overcome her. It’s a weird feeling, like she’s floating, but her body is heavy. She doesn’t like it. She doesn’t feel like she has control. She hears a sound outside the window and gasps.
“Calm down,” Kristen warns her. “You’re such a nervous Nellie.” She smokes more of the joint and then lies back on Lorna’s bed.
“I hear something,” Lorna whispers. “Is it the police?”
“The police? Are you crazy? Remind me never to let you smoke weed again,” Kristen says and giggles uncontrollably. “You’re acting so paranoid.”
