He handled things poorly, but he didn’t mean to hurt you.
“But he did, Mom.”
You didn’t know any better either.
Mom hated Dad. Why was she defending him? And why was she defending Lorna, for that matter? Lorna had betrayed her too.
There was more written, but Lorna had read enough for one evening. She recalled the way her mother had lain in bed in the garage apartment, so frail, the few remaining tufts of her white hair sticking up every which way. “You’ll understand one day, I hope,” she’d said, her face filled with a cadaverous smile. “When you have children of your own.”
It was too late for children of her own. All she had left of her family was this house.
She reopened her laptop, went to Facebook, and found Callie there. She didn’t want to ruin Callie’s whole day at work with an email. She clicked on the message icon.
Chapter 13Lorna Is Thirteen
Two years ago, right around christmas, dad married Trish. Thenceforth, according to Mom, every Christmas has been ruined. Between drags off her cigarette, she likes to say he married Trish because he knocked her up.
It doesn’t matter anymore, Lorna thinks, because Mom is right—Christmas is ruined because Mom can’t stop hating Dad.
She was so looking forward to this Christmas morning. She has asked every way she knows how for a portable CD player and the new Bon Jovi CD. She and her best friend, Callie, have created a dance routine to the latest hit, “This Ain’t a Love Song.”
They’ve been practicing for weeks. From her spot on Lorna’s bed, Kristen has lazily directed them, and when Callie goes home, Kristen confirms to Lorna that she is the better dancer. “You could be in music videos,” she says proudly.
Given Lorna’s height and general clumsiness, this praise is a Big Deal. She trusts Kristen’s opinion on pretty much everything except drugs and alcohol.
Christmas morning, she wakes to heavy rain. She rouses Kristen from her room and they race downstairs. The scent of fresh-baked cinnamon rolls hits her the moment she is in the grand hallway, and she and Kristen head to the main salon.Mom is curled up in a chair, smoking, staring out the window at the gray, rainy day.
“Come on, girls,” Nana says. “Come open your presents.” She hands them each a cinnamon roll on a plate as they enter.
Lorna and Kristen put aside the rolls and begin opening the presents while Nana watches with delight. Mom seems to have forgotten what day it is. “They had that baby six months after they married,” she says as Lorna tears the wrapping paper from a gift. “That tells you all you need to know.”
Contrary to what her mother says, that doesn’t tell Lorna anything she needs to know; she still has a lot of questions. She wants to ask Dad, but he’s been kind of scarce lately. Kristen tells her not to worry about it, that people break up and move on. “It happens all the time in high school,” she says as the oracle into a mysterious world Lorna will enter next year.
“And now they’ve got another one on the way,” Mom adds, angrily snuffing out the butt of her cigarette on a saucer.
“Another baby?” Kristen holds up a gold sweater and laughs. “The joke is on Dad, then.”
Lorna opens the gift from her mother. It’s a doll, the Winter Sports Barbie, with skis. She looks at it with dismay. She doesn’t play with dolls. She hasn’t in some time.
“How come he gets to go on with his life and I don’t?” Mom asks of no one in particular.
“Mindy, honey, we’re opening gifts,” Nana reminds her.
“Yeah, that I bought,” Mom says. “What did he get them?” But she stops staring out the window and seems to notice the pile of wrapping paper. “Lolo, do you like the Barbie? It’s so cute.”
Lorna hates that doll, but she says, “Yes.”
“No, she doesn’t,” Kristen says. Now she is holding a gold bracelet up to the light to admire it. “She’s too old for dolls. Whatare these numbers?” she asks, examining her bracelet. Lorna can see a few small beads.
“It’s a sobriety bracelet,” her mother says proudly. “You count the days you’ve been sober. You turn it every day and watch the days add up. Isn’t that clever?”
Kristen glares at her mother. “Seriously? You’re going to ride my ass on Christmas?”
“Watch your language,” Mom says sharply. “I thought it was a great idea.”
“You make me sound like a loser, Mom. I’m not an addict. I don’t need to count anything. I smoke weed because Ilikeit.” Kristen tosses the bracelet aside and gets up. “You think Dad ruins everything?Youruin everything.” She flounces out of the room.
Lorna’s mother turns her wide eyes on Lorna. She is obviously shocked that Kristen didn’t love the gift. Lorna clutches her stupid doll to her chest. “I love it, Mom.”
