Panic like she hadn’t felt in years seized her. She always had a plan. She was always working toward something. That was all she did! Sheworked. And she tried not to say rude things or get angry with people who let her down, and okay, she needed improvement. But she didnotneed a wellness program.
“So... you need to gather your things and sign some papers and speak to your team to get the ball rolling. Okay?” Deb leaned forward in her seat like she was about to stand.
Lorna could hardly think to speak. “I don’t know if I would choose the wordokay.”
“Listen.” Deb put her hand on Lorna’s again, which was now balled into a fist so tight she was surely cutting off circulation. “It’s going to be all right. You’ll be back before you know it. Takea few breaths and work through things. I know the last few years have been very difficult for you.” She stood and straightened her blouse with the tiny swans, signaling that the meeting was over.
No, Deb, this will not be all right. It will not be even remotely all right.She could feel the cracks spreading across her bubble already.
“Okay,” she forced herself to say, and then made herself stand up too. “Okay.”
It was not okay.
Chapter 2Lorna Now
Lorna’s entire team seemed almost giddy when she announced she’d be taking some time off.
“Thirty days?” Kendra, the newest hire, asked with more enthusiasm than she had ever shown for work. It was practically a squeal.
Lorna affirmed it was thirty days, although she was already plotting how to shorten that time. She reluctantly named Lance (Most Likely to Microwave Fish) as the team leader. He wasn’t the best salesperson, but he was the most organized of the bunch. Suzanne was determined not to let Lorna leave until she explained herself.
“I just don’t understand why I was given Most Punchable Face.”
“It was a joke, Suzanne. A bad one,” Lorna said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, but why did you say it about me?” She looked around pointedly at her colleagues. “Doeseveryonethink my face is punchable?”
“I’m sorry to you all,” Lorna said before anyone could answer. “I was just trying to be funny in a letter to my sister.”
“What is funny about me looking like a serial killer?” Sheldon asked curtly. “What does that even mean? Is it my hair? It’s my hair, isn’t it?” he said, running a hand over his old-style flattop.
None of the other team members made eye contact with him. They were saved from having to respond when human resources showed up. Beverly Rich, who was assigned to Lorna’s team and who had “sat in” on more than one meeting, was grinning like this was a birthday party and she was about to blow out the candles. “Time to go, Lorna,” she said cheerfully, and gestured to the exit.
“Right.” Lorna picked up her things. “So listen, guys,” she said as Beverly put her hand firmly on Lorna’s elbow and began to steer her toward the exit. “I’m really sorry. I know this is sudden, but I will be back, and we will make our goals, and we will get our bonuses. Don’t worry!”
No one said a word until the exit door closed behind her. Then Lorna heard several people start talking at once.
Was she really that bad?
She walked out into a blistering, bright day, her box in her arms. What, exactly, was she going to do now? She spotted Raymond, the guy who panhandled at the intersection in front of their building every morning, and walked over to him. She handed him her Driskill coffee thermos and the snack bag she kept in her bottom desk drawer for late nights. She was tired of Fritos anyway. “Looks like I’m going on a little vacay,” she said.
“For real?” Raymond asked, taking the proffered items. “Never knew you to go on vacation.”
“I know,” she said morosely. “I don’t know who will bring you donuts on Fridays.”
“Hmm,” he said, looking thoughtful. “I’ll figure out something. Enjoy yourself. You deserve a break.”
He had no idea. “Take care, Raymond. Mean streets of Austin and all that.”
“Aw, they’re not so bad,” he said as he ripped open a bag of Fritos.
She walked on, her box a bit lighter without that Driskillthermos that leaked half the time. Why give out thermoses that were going to leak, anyway? How did that saystaff appreciation? It said careless, thoughtless, and cheap to Lorna.
On the drive home, her anxiety turned to nausea. This was a huge miscarriage of justice, and therefore, according to her self-help books, an “opportunity.”Stand up for yourself!She should have fought back. She should have admitted she knew she wasn’t funny, that she’d made a terrible mistake, and yes, she was easily annoyed, but that didn’t mean she ought to be put on leave for a month or that she had a problem. Had anyone taken the time to consider what they stood to lose in sales without her there? Of course they hadn’t, because that would have been her job. She knew, without a doubt, that she could peddle workflow software better than anyone.
She was not the problem.
She turned onto her street in Central Austin, where the old live oaks with their long and twisty limbs created a canopy. Halfway down the block, she pulled onto a gravel patch for parking carved out of what once had been a grand lawn. The patch held exactly four cars. Or, rather, three cars and one giant truck that forced them all to park so close they had to squeeze their bodies out of their doors.
