Lorna was reluctant to take it but forced herself to look down and read. She didn’t get very far because words started to swim.King Doofus. Most Likely to Get Punched.These words,herwords, did not belong in this office. She’d written them in a letter she was composing to her sister. Her sister was her sounding board. Or she would be if Lorna ever sent the letters she typed, printed out, and stuffed into envelopes. But that was neither here nor there, because somehow, Deb hadthisletter. “I don’t understand,” she said slowly. She looked up from all the terrible words. “This is a letter to my sister. No one else was supposed to see it.”
“Well, you made it un-private when you sent it to your entire team early this morning as an attachment to the Franklin Industries specs email.”
Lorna’s heart nose-dived to her toes. She felt suddenly sick—she’d been up at five working from home this morning, and both the specs document and the letter had been recently opened on her computer. When she responded to an email from the team about the Franklin project, she must have attached the wrong file. “Oh no.” Her voice was shaking slightly. Her eyes burned and her chest heaved with an emotion that was so hot and toxic she almost couldn’t breathe. “No, Deb, you don’t understand—these were jokes.”
“Your jokes are not funny.”
Well, no kidding, looking at this list now. No matter how hard she tried, she could not be funny. “It’s... it’s something we used to do as kids. You know, make up superlatives for people.” Even she knew that explanation wasn’t very helpful. Lorna winced and looked at the page again. How could she have been so careless? She felt the blood draining from her face. And the faint but steady drum of anger that this had happened in the first place. “This is so bad,” she admitted. “I would never intentionally hurt them. Never, Deb. I didn’t mean... Listen, I will figure out how to make it up to them. I’ll—”
“Lorna.” Deb handed her another tissue, because apparently her eyes were really leaking. “I think you know you have a problem that needs to be addressed.”
That felt... alarming. Did she know that? Maybe a little part of her? “Look, I was careless, and I feel horrible, and I’ve been working a lot lately, you know that, because I really want the promotion to senior vice president for all the reasons we’ve discussed, and I let—”
Deb surged forward, placing her hand on Lorna’s again. “As your boss, I’m telling you that you have a problem. Now, I like you, Lorna. But this isn’t the first time we’ve had an issue with something you’ve said or done. It is clear to methat you have a lot on your mind and you need better coping strategies.”
Lorna was shaking her head. Maybe she was shaking her whole body. She felt like she was standing outside of herself, not really absorbing this properly. Not really understanding. She kept a tight control of everything in her life and could not allow it to get out of control. Out of control was when bad things happened. “Are you firing me?” she asked, her voice scarcely above a whisper.
“No,” Deb said softly. “And I don’t want to. You’re really good at what you do and you could go far. But I want you to get help.”
“Okay,” Lorna said. “I will get help. But really, I probably only need some sleep.” Even as the words left her mouth, Lorna knew that wasn’t what she needed. Who typed letters to her sister going through the roster of her team? Who spent her birthday picnicking at Zilker Park with just her dog? Who couldn’t get invited to an after-work happy hour to save her life? And Deb, whose opinion she trusted, looked very skeptical. Lorna scooched forward. “I can see how things might look a little... disconcerting. I don’t mean to be this way, I swear it, Deb. Iwantto be their friend. I’m having a bit of difficulty figuring out how.”
Deb nodded. “It’s good that you recognize you can be a little... much.”
“Cringe, even,” Lorna added helpfully.
“I know you’re a good person, Lorna. But Dirk is not happy. He’s questioning my judgment about you.”
Dirk Kendall was the CEO of Driskill Workflow Solutions. He would have the final say about her appointment to senior vice president and the raise that would accompany it. Not to mention the signing bonus. All the things Lorna needed and had worked so hard to achieve.
“I convinced him to let me help. But, Lorna, you need to get your act together. Fortunately, at Driskill, we take mental health very seriously.”
That was debatable, but Lorna was not in a position to point that out.
“I’m putting you on leave—”
Lorna gasped as if Deb had just sentenced her to death.
“—and sending you to our new wellness program. You’ll be entering the day program at Bodhi Tao Bliss Retreat and Spa on the shores of Lake Austin.” She smiled as if Lorna had won a grand prize. As if she should be happy about this turn of events.
Lorna knew that place—she’d sold them their workflow software and then laughed bitterly at the thought of all those spa-goers walking around in plush bathrobes. That some people didn’t have to work and could lounge around all day made her a skosh furious.
“Their day program is called Leaves of Change, and it’s thirty days.”
Lorna’s mouth fell open. “Are you crazy?”
“I most certainly am not,” Deb said curtly.
“I mean... this isn’t like you, Deb. I can’t take that kind of time off. We’re about to finish Franklin Industries, and you know how important that is to me.” That was the sale that would put her over the top. The project that would get her the promotion and the raise and the bonus. The bonus that would enable her to put a down payment on her grandmother’s house.
“Franklin Industries will not be finished in the next month. We are just now developing the proposal.”
But she needed to be here to develop the proposal. This was a disaster.That stupid letter.Lorna straightened, making her spine stiff. That was something else she’d learned in her books—posture mattered. “I understand. But the thing is, I am very good at my job, and the team can’t really function without a leader. Also, I want to go on record and say that I don’t think any of this is necessary. I promise I will make amends. And I will work very hard not to be snappish.”
Deb did not look pleased. “The problem is that I don’t believe you can make proper amends to your team until you address whatever is the cause of your... unhappiness.”
Lorna opened her mouth to argue, but Deb held up a hand. “It’s not up for debate. Human resources has already prepared the paperwork. All I need from you is the name of someone on your team who can head things up while you’re out.”
A seismic urge to beg or, conversely, to toss a chair through the window was building in her chest, pushing all the air from her lungs. It was impossible to explain to Deb how important her plans were. She had no other way to achieve her goal of buying her grandmother’s house. Well, except maybe adhering to the terms of the trust her mother had left for her, and thatcertainlywasn’t happening. Talk about a rage-inducing thought.
