“First of all, fuck that guy. He’s a dick bag, Rory. You want me to fight him?”
“What!? Oh my God, Fitz,no.” His response is a low, raspy chuckle, and I continue, “It was just like embarrassing. I thought that this was finally the moment where a guy, I don’t know…seesme. For the first time. Me. Not Rory St. James, Coach’s daughter. Or theirbro. Like really sees me, and that didn’t happen. I was yet again someone’s wingman, and it made me feel like a fool. I spentthe past several months trying to show him that I was interested and clearly that was a fail.”
Fitz’s eyes soften. “You’re not a fool. That guy’s just an idiot and clearly wasn’t good enough for you anyway.”
“Yeah, but I think tonight was just more of an eye opener? If it wasn’t him, it would’ve been someone else. I just really thought he was interested in me. I thought that my sad attempt at flirting for the past several months translated into… something.” Sighing, I pull my knees up to my chest before I continue, “I think I’m actually hopeless, Fitz. I don’t knowhowto flirt, or how to even have an actual conversation with someone I find attractive. It’s like something in my brain is wired wrong and I turn into a total klutz, stumbling over my words and yapping about the most random things. Mostly sports because it’s what I know best. This is exactly why I’d rather just hang out with you guys. It’s easy being with you.”
“Maybe that’s your problem, Ror. You need to get out, meet new people outside of the team. Hang out with peopleoutsideof me and Wren.”
I don’t respond, instead shrugging, chewing the corner of my lip.
“Put yourself out there and it’ll happen exactly the way it’s supposed to. Plus, how are you going to get any better at the things you’re not good at if you don’t practice? Pretty sure you’ve said that to me a time or two.”
“I swear, I need some lessons on how to not be the most awkward person alive.”
He rubs his hands together, then does a dramatic show of cracking his neck as he says, “Put me in, Coach, I’m ready. The only thing I’m better at than rugby is women.”
“Shut up,” I say, although I’m laughing, which is a step up from the tears of earlier tonight.
“Say, girl, you’re cute tonight. Wanna hook up?”
“Ew. Stop.Immediately.I’m going to throw up.” I fake gag, and we both laugh.
See? Talking to your best guy friend about wanting to find a guy to hook up with turns weird quick, especially when you’re as close as siblings.
The easygoing grin on Fitz’s face falls slightly as he sobers. “Seriously though, you’re perfect just the way you are, and I think that if you stop putting crazy pressure on yourself, you’ll find someone you click with. It’ll happen.”
He makes it sound so easy, but it feels anything but easy. Still, I nod, giving him a small smile. “Thanks, Fitz. For just… listening. It feels better just to get that off my chest. And thanks for forcing me out tonight, it was fun. Before all of that anyway.”
“Well, you’ve been busting our asses hardcore so I figured you could use a break as much as we could from your tyranny.”
“Ha ha. Dick,” I deadpan, rolling my eyes. He can give me shit all day long, but he knows that a team-building clinic was necessary, even though I’m not sure it paid off. Yet. “How are the guys handling this? I meanreallyhandling it, Fitz.”
For a second he’s quiet, rolling his tongue across his teeth as he stares back at me. Then he blows out a breath. “Still a fucking mess, Ror. Most of the guys are still pissed off that he walked on the team like he owns the place and didn’t have to earn shit while they’ve had to work their asses off to get the spot they have. They don’t trust him for shit, and I really don’t know if that’s going to change any time soon. Trust is earned, and so far he hasn’t doneanything to earn it.” Fitz pauses, shaking his head. “You saw how the drills went, zero cohesion on both sides. He’s an asshole, and he doesn’t talk to anybody unless he has to. The rest of the guys are cold and closed off. We’re all just caught in this in-between, and I have no clue how it’s going to end up. Doesn’t help that all of us, including your dad, have so much pressure to make it to the championship this year.”
My chest feels heavy as I listen to him speak, but I knew that this was likely what was going to happen. It’s been my worry from the start.
A huge change like this midseason is enough to throw any team out of rhythm and off-balance, but adding a new guy in the mix that they don’twant… Well, that could potentially be catastrophic.
They don’t trust him because he has a problematic reputation. He got kicked off his previous team and came here as a last resort. And to them, he doesn’t seem very sorry that it happened. They think he truly believes he’s a better player than anyone.
I know if they had their choice, he wouldn’t be here.
But I’m not going to let that happen.
I can’t. These guys mean too much to me, thisteammeans too much to me.
“It’ll work itself out. He’s only been here for a little while, and everyone’s still adjusting. We just have to keep trying, that’s all.”
Especially if I have anything at all to do with it.
CHAPTER 6
Cillian
Fuck you,” Brooks Thorne spits as he steps forward, forcing me backward until I slam against the cold metal of the locker door. I let out a low chuckle, shaking my head in disbelief that this arsehole is trulythisfucking dumb.
I’ve had about enough of his bloody bullshit, and he has no clue just how much I’ve been holding back. Biting my tongue and ignoring the amount of dumb shit that’s been spewing from his mouth since the moment I got here.
