He nods, stepping in closer and my heart actually begins to hammer in my chest as if it’s trying to break free. “Yeah, of course. So this is embarrassing and stupid, but I just need to come out and say it,” he starts, and I nod along with each syllable.
“No, totally, you can tell me anything,” I say, blinking rapidly. My fingers tighten around the plastic cup in my hand as I wait for him to speak, trying to calm the rapid thrum of my heart.
The expression on his face turns sheepish as he reaches up and rubs his hand along the nape of his neck. “Uh… Do you think you could be my wing woman tonight? You know Adrina from class? She’s here tonight, and I’m really into her and could use some help talking to her. I’m kinda really nervous?”
“Oh,” I say, bringing my cup to my lips to hide my disappointment. “Uh… that’s why you asked me here tonight?”
His brow pulls together tightly. “Yeah? You’re so easy to talk to, Rory, like one of my guys. I thought maybe you could help me get a date with her? She’s your lab partner so I figure that you probably know each other well?”
The hot, bitter sting of tears prick behind my eyes, but somehow I plaster on a smile to mask the hurt.
Of course. Rory the wing woman. Rory…just one of the guys.
God, I’m such an idiot.
Completely a fool to come here tonight.
I mumble a quick excuse to Carson and make a beeline for the bathroom, wiping away the silly, ridiculous tears and trying to pull myself together before anyone sees me upset. After a few minutes of pretending that it doesn’t bother me that I just completely embarrassed myself in front of Carson, I find Fitz in the backyard and tell him I’m going to head home.
There’s no way I want to stay at this party after what happened, and honestly, even though I’m sure the alcohol had a lot to do with the tears, I don’t want to be here anymore. Tonight did not go the way I hoped it would, and my entire mood has completely gone down the drain.
“Let’s go back to your apartment, Ror,” Fitz whispers against my ear, tightening his arm around my shoulders as if he senses that something is wrong.
I nod wordlessly, leaning into him. The entire walk back to my apartment, I’m quiet, replaying what happened in my head.
I was so stupid to think Carson would want anything from me. Stupid to think my version of flirting, word vomiting and awkward giggling, was anything he’d ever be interested in.
Tonight proved exactly what I’ve been afraid of.
That I’ll only ever bejustthe wing woman, and never anything more.
CHAPTER 5
Rory
All right, spill. What’s going on? You’ve been scarily quiet since we left the party,” Fitz says, looking over at me with his eyebrow raised, gently bumping his shoulder into mine to pull me from my thoughts. Of course he’s reading me like an open book, because my best friend knows when something’s off. “Talk to me, Ror.”
We’ve been sitting on my couch eating chicken nuggets and watchingParks and Recreationfor the last thirty minutes and I haven’t said a word. Mostly because I’m in my feelings about the run in with Carson, and I’m just kind of trying to process all of it.
Plus, talking to Fitz about this is kind of just weird?
Weird in the way of talking about wanting to hook up with guys… with your brother. I trust Fitz with my life, and I can’t think of a time when he hasn’t been anything but supportive and steadfast when I needed him, but there’s a part of me that is just kind of embarrassed to admit all this out loud, if I’m being honest with myself.
I don’t think he’d understand even if I tried to explain it. Guys like him are used to girls falling at his feet. Perks of being a hot D1A athlete with a stupid amount of charm. Hot objectively speaking because he’sFitz.
But… still.
“Uh… well something kind of happened tonight?” I mutter quietly, tearing my gaze from the TV and turning to look at him.
“Okay, what happened?”
Scrunching my nose, I shrug. “It’s silly, it’s not even a big deal. It’s stupid, really.”
I’m just permanently friend-zoned beyond my comprehension.
“Hey, don’t say that.” He shakes his head, blue eyes flickering with concern. “If it’s bothering you then it’s important, Ror.Period.Which means it’s important to me. And I’m your best friend; you can talk to me about anything. You know that.” The sincerity in his voice makes me want to cry a little bit and ultimately is the reason why I break.
In a rush of words that I mumble so fast I’m not sure if he’s even really heard any of them, I recount what happened with Carson, and how incredibly stupid and foolish the entire thing made me feel.
