I kept my gaze on hers, feeding off her wisdom and her tenderness like it was a cup of hot tea.
“A good enough life?”
“I don’t believe that anyone in this world is truly good.We all have wicked thoughts and feelings inside us, and sometimes they do escape and become reality.But it sounds like you got caught up in that outlaw life through no fault of your own, maybe?”
I sighed.“I suppose.My parents died when me and Robert were pretty young.We were sent to live with some elderly relatives, but that weren’t much good for us, although Robert took to it better at first.I ran and was found by a fella who seemed like the most fascinatin’ and impressive person I’d ever met for the first little while, and he took me under his wing.I got involved more in the gang, and by the time I realized what kind of a life it truly was, ’twas too late to get out.I was pretty young and had nothing else.And I did try to go back one time, but that ended in disaster.Because Robert decided he wanted to come with me when I went back to them, and I couldn’t bear to leave him behind.”I made a face.“My grandpa was not a kind man, and I don’t think he wanted to raise us anyway.”
We were silent for a little while.Miss June got up to adjust the brightness of the lamp so that the room was bathed in a soft light instead of the intensity she’d needed for her stitching.She peered o’er at me while she turned the little brass key and the lamp dimmed.
“Did Robert join the gang, too?”
“Yes, ma’am.I think… I think that’s the thing I regret most of all.”
She returned to the bed and sat down, taking my hand in one of hers and laying her other hand o’er the top of it.Her skin was so soft, and her touch was a soothing comfort after a rough day.
“What happened to Robert?”
I frowned and shifted my gaze to the bed covering as the memories returned to me.My voice was rough when I continued speaking.
“He died.Got shot in the back and left in the dirt by a rival gang.And the hardest part was… The worst of it was that the men I’d had a bit of respect for in the gang, they didn’t even want to look for him.I found him, and I can still see him lyin’ there.”
“Oh, Jimmy, I’m so sorry.”
The tears slid o’er my cheeks, and I was too exhausted to fight them.Probably all the stress and the pain had caught up to me.My face didn’t even have the will to crumple, and I didn’t make a sound.
Miss June slipped closer and clasped my hand to her warm bosom, stroking it and saying soothing words to settle me.I didn’t protest, because it felt real good and like ’twas something I needed.
Once my tears had dried and I wasn’t sniffling anymore, she patted the back of my hand and glanced at the door.“Whatever is keeping Oscar?Maybe he couldn’t find Trick, or—”
Our gazes met and we both grinned.Then Miss June laughed.
“Or maybe he decided ‘twas a good idea to wait while she finished up with something,” she said.
“I reckon that’s probably what ’twas.”
“Well,” she said, patting my hand again then letting it go and standing, “’twas good to talk with you, Jimmy.I think you need to stop agonizing over your rough past and accept it.It made you who you are today, and I think you’re a good man.In fact, I know it.”
“How can you?”
She grinned.“Didn’t I mention?I’ve got a second sense when it comes to people.Works for me well around here—most of the time, anyway.”
I tried to smile.
“And I can see it in Oscar.He loves you, and he knows you’re a good man.And you’ve got to start seeing yourself through our eyes, Jimmy, because you are a very special personnow, no matter what happened before.”
“Maybe,” I said.
“Surely,” she replied as the door opened and Oscar came in with Trick, whose lips were red and swollen, cheeks were flushed and hair was rather disorderly.
“I got her when I could.She was”—Oscar glanced at Trick, who shrugged, then he looked back at us—“busy.”
Trick sucked a finger into her mouth, then used it to smooth back some hair at her temple.“Girl’s gotta make a living.”
Miss June put a hand on Trick’s shoulder and kissed her rosy cheek, then stepped back and gave her a steady look.
“I have a proposition for you, my dear.”
“Oh, bloody hell.Now what?”she said, but the fondness she held for Miss June was in Trick’s good-humored countenance.
