“Grooming ponyboys is your dream job?”
“Sure. Are you fucking kidding me? I get to live here, in this beautiful place, surrounded by intelligent people and kinking the fuck out on a daily basis? This is heaven.” He shook his head. “You know, Jensen, not everyone gets an opportunity like this. You better be sure you want to pass it up.”
“I’m sure,” I said quietly. “I thought I could do the job. I thought I’d fit in here. But I don’t. I just don’t.”
We trudged on quietly. We were almost at the house when I heard my name.
“That’s Noah,” Brian said. “I’m going back. There’s a show to get ready for today. A show you’re going to miss, which is a goddamn shame.”
And he was gone.
I kept walking. I’d almost reached the back door to the main house when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.
“Jensen, wait.”
I stopped but didn’t turn. I was breathing hard from the pace I’d kept and so was Noah.
“Look at me.”
I closed my eyes and turned, opening them to see Noah standing there in his boxer briefs and an open shirt, his runners untied, looking like a fucking angel. “I’m looking.”
“Please don’t go.”
“I have to.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Noah, all this shit is happening because of me.”
Noah shook his head quickly from side to side. “No, this shit is happening because of Luke. And Callum. If Luke knew you were planning to leave, he’d be devastated.”
I narrowed my eyes, trying to see if Noah really thought so or only figured such a dubious supposition would make me stay. “No, he wouldn’t.”
“Okay, so I can’t prove how much he cares. But I’m pretty sure. And, anyway, I don’t want you to leave.”
“I know. But I can’t stay. This job is too hard. Everything’s too hard. My cock, most of the time, and figuring things out, and fitting in so I’m not messing everyone up. I’m done.”
Noah nodded, blinking hard. He held something out to me. “Fine. Here, take this. My phone number and address. I’m here until the end of August; then I go home. Please, call me. I don’t want this to be the end for us.”
I gazed down at the crumpled piece of paper and then back at Noah. “Noah, I—”
“Take it.”
I nodded. I put the paper in my pocket and turned to go into the house. I didn’t look behind me as I let the door swing closed.
The big house was empty and silent. Connor wasn’t at his desk, but I found Adam in his office. He looked up from his computer, raised his eyebrows and started to stand.
“Jensen. What can I do for you?”
“I’m leaving.” I didn’t have the patience for niceties.
He froze, then completed standing and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Pardon?”
“I’m taking off. I can’t stay here. I’m going to need my phone, please.”
“I don’t understand. You’re not worried about last night, are you? I told you: you aren’t to blame for anything.”
I nodded. “I know, but I feel at least partly responsible.” I glanced down the hall and then back at Adam. “And I, uh, I punched Callum in the face.”
