Good.
Finally, I’d cracked that blank expression.
Okay, so maybe talking to her in her office about seeing her naked and how she tastes wasn’t totally appropriate, but I was not going to let her believe for a minute longer that any of what happened between us was some sort of fucking chore for me.
“I… well, I—” her monotone was gone now, her voice shaky and real. She clamped her mouth shut and swallowed as she stared up at me. Her pupils were dilated, and she was breathing fast.
I was getting somewhere.
“Vicky, baby, please. I love you. If you just?—”
“Stop!” she snapped, and I swallowed down an angry curse. Her expression had shuttered again, but not before I saw real pain flash across her features. “Don’t say that you love me.”
“Iwillsay it, Vicky.” My voice was shaking with frustration now. “I willkeepsaying it until you believe it.”
“It’s cruel, Mike,” Vicky whispered, and to my shock, her eyes filled with tears. “Margot’s not going to pull her investment. You don’t have to do this. And?—”
“Fuck Margot and fuck her investment!” I snapped. “I don’t care about that. All I care about isyou.”
She closed her eyes, and when one of her tears fell down her cheek she flinched and scrubbed it away quickly as if surprised to find it there.
“All I’ve ever wanted is someone to love me for me. Just for me. Not for something I can give them. Not because they’re under any obligation. Just because they chose me. So for you to say that to me now iscruel.”
She backed away from me then, her face morphing back into that blank mask, and her eyes dulling as she scrubbed away another tear, blinking until her eyes were back to dry and lifeless.
“You’re not a cruel man. I know you’re not. So please,pleasedon’t say that to me again. And please don’t try to see me. If I’d known about the arrangement, then I would have been able to keep myself more detached, but I didn’t. And once I’m fixated on something, it’s very difficult for me to pull my focus back. So you need to stay away from me.”
“Vicky, please, I?—”
“You broke me, Mike,” she whispered. “I’m not strong. I can’t take seeing you without breaking more, and I have to have a chance to put the pieces back together.”
She turned then and walked away, back to the conference room.
I watched her go, my fists still clenched at my sides to stop myself from reaching for her.
All I’ve ever wanted is someone to love me for me.
My chest was so tight I could barely breathe.
Well, I wasn’t going to get anywhere with her now, but I wasn’t giving up.
I was never going to give up.
Chapter 29
I don’t make threats
Vicky
I wasn’tsure what I was waiting for.
Sitting in my car for twenty minutes, staring into the middle distance was not productive behaviour. I needed to get up and make myself go into that house.
Cutting off my mother and Rebecca hadn’t been as easy as just blocking their numbers. Okay, so I hadn’t answered the door to them when they came to my house, but the incessant banging wasn’t ideal as I lived in a quiet neighbourhood.
Then there had been the messages left at the reception of my work for me.
I really, really couldn’t have them interfering in my professional life.
