It was actually nice to just relax together. After a while, the nerves even started to ebb, but as the hours dragged on, they turned to frustration.
Heaving a sigh, I pulled out my phone, finally, dialling Melissa's number. At this point, getting it over with was preferable to dragging it out any longer, but she didn't answer.
I hung up, frustrated, and tossed my phone onto the coffee table in disgust.
“She's the one who cheated on me first,” I said. “As far as she knows I'm just as committed as always. What reason does she have to keep avoiding me like this? It's so fucking childish.”
“She must know you know,” Ryan said objectively. “Maybe she's just not ready to face the music yet.”
I shut my eyes, knowing that he was right. As soon as I'd said we needed to talk she was suddenly more elusive than Bigfoot.
“I know we've already beenyou know, and I know Dave and Ollie already know, butI can't move on properly until I speak to her. I can barely evenbreathe, you know?”
Ryan shook his head.
“Honestly, it's hard for me to wrap my head around,” he admitted. “I haven't been with someone as long or with even half the commitment... I know this is hard for you. I know you thought it was going to be forever with her.”
“Ryan... for fuck’s sake…”
“What?”
“You're too fucking sweet. I can't handle it.”
That was the hardest part,acceptingand melding all the memories. Ryan had been at my side even on my wedding day and his presence had been more appreciated than my parents’. All I had wanted was him at my side while Melissa walked down the aisle. How fucked up and dirty was that? At the time it had feltgoodhaving him there.It had felt so special with myfiancéin front of me and my best friend at my side. Now,all I could think was that Ryan had loved me then.
He had loved me while I gushed about Melissa after our first date. He had loved me when he helped me set up the perfect proposal. He had loved me when shewalkeddown the aisle. And he loved me now, sitting on my couch, waiting for my wife to come home so that he could help me break up with her—because I couldn't even dothatwithout him.
“What the hell would I do without you?” I wondered and the next thing I knew, I was on top of him.
His arms came around me at once, holding me against him, feeding into my desperate need with his own.
I kissed him like he was a pocket of air and I was under water and he held onto me with just as much urgency.
We were ridiculous together, but I didn't care.
“Need you,” I whispered.
He moaned softly, and suddenly his grip tightened and he flipped me over, flat onto the couch, TV forgotten, just like that first time. And just like that time, the front door opened as Melissa entered, but this time, neither of us noticed.
The sound of something falling and hitting the floor had us breaking apart just as Melissa gasped loudly.
“Oh my god!”
Ryan was off of me so fast I may as well have electrocuted him, but it didn't matter, the damage was done.
I sat up, my heart racing.
Melissa was standing in the entryway to the living room. Her hands were over her mouth in shock and I forced myself to meet her eyes which were wide and flooded with tears. The betrayal and pain in them shot straight through me. Every moment me and Ryan had touched each other flashed through my mind and I knew it was the worst kind of betrayal in the world.
“Lissa,” I whispered.
She shut her eyes and all the tears being held at bay poured down her cheeks. And with that, she turned and ran.
“Fuck!” I hissed, scrambling to my feet to go after her.
I was barely up off the couch when the door slammed shut behind her.
Ryan moved faster than me.
