“What about Kamran? How's he?”
I froze solid. Couldn't even begin to think of a response because for a moment I thought he was just straight up asking how Kamran felt about the situation and when I realized he wasn't, that it was just a separate thought, it was too late to pretend I hadn't reacted like I was being electrocuted.
He frowned for a moment and then his eyes widened ever so slightly and Iknew he knew.
“Oh, shit,” he muttered, raising his brows. “Didn't see that one coming.”
He paused.
“Actually, I take that back. I could see it.”
I spluttered.
“Are you serious?”
He nodded and shrugged, like that was that, even though I hadn't even confirmed anything. He turned to the table, taking out the supplies to roll a joint, but I couldn’t let it go.
“But he's married,” I said, slowly.
Ollie grimaced.
“That's true. Not cool,” he said, giving me a look.
My heart thudded as I stared at him.
Oh my god, I can finally tell someone!He already knew now, I may as well take advantage of it.
“Kamran found out she's been cheating on him. He turned to me. One thing lead to another. Now he's saying he's going to leave her to be with me but I'm just...waiting.”
At the end of my word vomit, Ollie slowly set down his grinder.
“Shit, that's pretty messy, Huh?”
I nodded and tipped my beer back, more for something to do so that I wasn't just sitting here sweating and begging Ollie to tell me what to do next.
“Is that what you want?” he finally asked. “To be with him long term?”
I swallowed, trying for nonchalant even though my next words ruined the effect.
“More than anything. Ever.”
He searched my face and I felt like a bug under a microscope until he leaned across the table and gripped me by the shoulder, giving me a little squeeze.
“Jesus man, you were keeping that to yourself? Must have been lonely.”
I swallowed back the sudden swell of emotions that rose up my throat. I couldn't look at him, but I nodded.
“Yeah, a bit,” I admitted. And I sounded so fucking weak and pathetic, the opposite of my image, but lately all the loose bits were being shaken off to fully expose me. I just had to accept that I couldn't hide any more.
“It sounds like you both have a lot on the line,” Ollie mused.”I think your best bet is to hold off and wait, alright? It might take a while for him to be out of a marriage and ready to move on properly. As Spock said, ‘After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting.’”
I rolled my eyes at the reference but they struck a chord. I finally had Kamran, but it didn’t feel as good as it should have.
I took a shaking breath and tried to keep thedisappointmentat bay. He was right of course, but that didn't mean I had to like it.
“See, I was kind of hoping he could just move on immediately. Like,tonight, even.”
I held out my arms and shrugged.
