“Alright, have a good day,” I said.
Ryan nodded, his eyes lingering on me as I went and he packed up his dirty clothes off of the bench.
I smiled and nodded at the teenager, and got out of their way.
It wasn't until I was driving to work that I realized how happy I felt. I was basically weightless.
If I had any more good times with Ryan I would need to be tied down to the ground so that I wouldn't float away.
There was just one little smear on this happiness, the reason we couldn't be open about it. The reason it had all started. Melissa's cheating.
The strangest thing was I wasn't mad anymore. Her actions had made Ryan react and kiss me. In a roundabout way, she had brought us together and twisted as it was, I was suddenly grateful for that.
Melissa had made me happier than I had ever been in my life by driving me into someone else's arms.
It was fucked up, but I wasn't going to argue it.
Today, I would remember that when I finally spoke to her about everything.
To put it all in motion, I pulled into the lot at work and pulled out my phone, typing out and sending her a message before I could back out from nerves.
We need to talk. Tonight. Please come straight home.
FOURTEEN
Ryan
Despite the way this morning had gone, I couldn’t help feeling uneasy.
I’d let myself get carried away twice in public. Meanwhile, nothing had actually changed yet. Kamran was still married.
Until he was separated, I would just have to clutch onto the good feelings and hope that I wasn't wrong and thatKamranwasn't wrong about how he felt for me. I didn't think I would survive it if he changed his mind.
I got through the day with relative ease, still nauseous over how close we'd cut that shower—how my job and reputation could have been destroyed just like that, but as the day went on and all the teachers and students were normal with me, I decided to write it off as a one-time mistake. There was no harm was done but I couldn’t let it happen again, even if itwashard for me to say no to Kam.
As the day went on without Kamran there to distract me, an uneasy feeling began to run under my skin telling me that I wason borrowed time. That I wasn't going to get to keep Kamran no matter how much I wanted to.
It was all I could think about but Kamran couldn’t be here to reassure me. He had work and then Melissa to deal with.
Instead, I ended up going to dinner with a co-worker and then dropped by Ollie's place after that, just to keep my mind busy.
We had a beer and chatted about nothing in particular until Ollie suddenly started laughing.
“Who you got on the line?” he asked. “Someone good?”
“Huh?” I asked. “What are you talking about?”
“You keep checking your messages, man,” he said, shaking his head. “Like, constantly. You waiting for someone good to get in touch?”
I felt my cheeks heating and slowly straightened in my seat at his kitchen table. Ollie always noticed things. He had sharp eyes and a quick wit. He probably could have gone far if he wasn't so obsessed with conspiracy theories and weed.
I had the strangest inkling that he knew exactly who he was talking about—or at least was on the verge of figuring it out. Ollie wasn't a judgmental asshole, so I kind of wanted to tell him if not for the little fact that Melissa was still on the scene.
“What is it?” Ollie asked, taking a swig. “Is it complicated?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “You could say that.”
He let out a thoughtful littlehmand went back to his drink for a minute.
