I ignored him and pushed up the fabric of his t-shirt. Bruises laced around his abs. I let his shirt drop back into place. “You need ice.” I tried to climb off his lap, but he tightened his grip on my thighs.
“Please. Don’t go.”
“Matt…”
“I didn’t come over here for you to take care of me. I just wanted to see you. I needed to see you. You’re so beautiful, Brooklyn. Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”
I tried to hide my smile. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
“I can’t get you out of my head.”
“How hard have you been trying?”
“Harder than I’d like to admit. But I don’t want to give Isabella the satisfaction of ruining my life too. I don’t want to give you up.”
There was a lot to that sentence. It was sweet. And…troubling. “Who else’s life has she ruined?” She’d only been attempting to ruin mine so far. But I wasn’t surprised to hear that I wasn’t the first person to get in her way.
“I’d rather talk about your big box of condoms.”
Oh, shit.I turned to my nightstand. The drawer was still open, fully displaying the condoms my uncle had bought me. I was about to explain when Matt cut me off again.
“Tell me I’m not too late.”
It was the same thing he’d asked before our kiss. My first kiss. He’d promised to steal all my firsts. But the more time we spent together, the less likely he was to have to steal them. I was pretty sure I’d be giving him everything I had. “You’re not too late, Matt.”
“Hmm.” He leaned back on my bed, pulling me with him.
I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead he rolled to the side and placed me gently on the mattress. My weight against his torso had probably hurt him. I was about to apologize when he started talking.
“I wish I’d waited for you.” He placed his hand on the side of my face. “But I can wait now. Until you’re ready. I’ll wait for you.”
I thought about his equally big opened box of condoms. He must have known I’d seen it, like he’d known I’d seen the pictures of Isabella. But honestly, I didn’t care if he’d used a handful of condoms. Especially if he hadn’t used them with Isabella. And he swore he hadn’t. “I’d like that,” I said. I knew my life was still tangled up with Felix’s. But it was easy to forget when my limbs were tangled up with Matt’s.
“You said your mom was young when she had you.” His voice was barely a whisper. “How old was she?”
I hadn’t expected that question. “She was 19.”
“Tell me about her.”
“My mom?”
He kissed my forehead, pulling me closer. “Yeah. I want to know all about her.”
This was the conversation I’d wanted to have earlier today. But Felix never asked me about my mom. Neither did Kennedy. My uncle barely even brought her up. I closed my eyes and let Matt hold me. I finally had someone who wanted to listen. “She was so full of life. And she had so much hope. I don’t know how she stayed so optimistic during her treatments. And before she was sick we used to have so much fun just the two of us. Fall was her favorite season. Up until last fall we even still raked leaves and jumped in the piles. Her laughter was one of my favorite sounds.And sometimes I’m worried that I’m going to forget what it sounded like.”
“It probably sounds a lot like yours.”
I pressed my lips together. I liked to think so. “Maybe.” But I wasn’t sure I had enough laughter in me to fill a whole room. I barely laughed anymore at all.
“I wish I could have met her,” Matt said.
“Me too.”
“You look just like her.”
I thought about all the pictures on my walls. I guess Matt had opened his eyes again. But I kept mine closed. “How did you know I like Caesar salads?”
“You order one almost every day at lunch.”
