I stole a glance at the window that I knew Hailey was sleeping behind. And then I drove away. Leaving my heart behind in a crappy motel in Santa Monica. A motel room that in my head was even grander than a room at the Bellagio.
Missing Pieces - Chapter 47
Hailey
Friday
I reached out expecting to find Tyler, but I only felt empty sheets. I slowly opened my eyes. "Tyler?" I sat up and looked around the room. He wasn't there. He was gone.
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as I threw the sheets off of me. He left without saying goodbye?No.I quickly pulled on a tank top and shorts. He couldn't leave without saying goodbye. I needed to tell him that I loved him again. I needed him to know that I truly meant it. That I'd wait for him. That I wouldn't hurt him.
Before I grabbed the doorknob of the hotel room, I noticed an envelope with my name on it on the dresser.
I quickly tore it open. There was a plane ticket back to Indiana, a picture, and a note. I swallowed hard.He left without saying goodbye.Why would he do that? I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked down at the picture. It was of us in front of the Santa Monica Route 66 sign. He looked so happy. The sun was setting in the picture, casting a glow around us. It made the picture look like it was from an old scrap book that my dad had from when I was a baby. I wasn't sure how something could look so faded yet vibrant at the same time. I stared down at Tyler's handsome features. Why did it already feel like he was so far away? I slid the photo of Tyler into my pocket. Maybe that would make him feel closer.
I slowly unfolded the letter. Part of me didn't want to read it. I had this awful feeling that yesterday had been a lie. That he pitied me. That maybe he would be telling me the truth in this letter. I took a deep breath and stared down at the words.
Hails,
When we first met, I was broken. I wasn't looking for someone to put the pieces of my life back together, but you did. I don't know how I can ever thank you for that. All I really have to give you in return is my heart. And that's what I'm giving you. I love you, Hailey Shaw. I love you with everything that I am.
Before I met you, I thought I knew what love was, but I was wrong. I promise I have never felt the way I feel about you with anyone else. Because I love the warmth of your brown eyes and the freckles on your nose. And I love your laugh. Your real one, the one that bubbles up from your stomach and makes your eyes twinkle. I love how stubborn and determined you are. I love how you always tell it like it is. I love how strong you are, not just for yourself but for the ones you love. And most of all, I love that you see goodness in the world in spite of everything. That you see goodness in me.
Unlike in our song, I wasn't doing just fine before I met you. Because before I met you, I had given up. I signed up for the marines with the intention of starting over. But really, I think deep down, maybe I thought it might be the end. As much as I wish that wasn't true, that thought was there. The idea that I could at least go out in a way I could be proud of. That maybepeople would remember me better than I was. But I don't want to die. Not now. Not now that I've found you. You saved me.
But I need you to think about what being together would mean. I love that you make rash decisions like climbing into strangers’ cars. But I don't want you to make a rash decision about being with me. This is going to be hard. You'd be making an incredible sacrifice, one I can't ask you to make. But it's your choice. I hope that you make the right one for you. I'm all in though, Hails. I need you to know that if you choose me, that's it for me. You're it for me.
My new address is on the back of this letter. Write to me if that's what your heart truly wants. I promise I'll always write back. I promise that you can always count on me. No matter how many miles apart we are, you're not alone. Ever.
I know you're probably fuming right now because I didn't stay to say goodbye. But I didn't stay because this isn't goodbye. It's only just the beginning. If you'll have me. I'm going to come home. And I mean to Indiana, not New York. You're home to me, Hails.
Love,
Tyler
P.S. When you board the plane check the front pocket of your duffel bag.
He didn't know me as well as he thought. I wasn't mad. I was bawling my eyes out like a baby. Being with him wasn't a sacrifice. It wasn't rash. It was just how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to meet. I knew that. He needed to know that too.
I grabbed my phone to call him. But I realized that I never even got his number. The thought just made me cry even more.
When I finally composed myself, I took a deep breath. He wanted letters. I could respect that. He'd be adjusting to his new life. Hopefully he'd change his mind soon. I wanted to be able to hear his voice. I thought maybe we could even Skype so I could see his face.
I wiped away the remaining tears in my eyes. I'd write to him right away. He'd probably get it tomorrow if I mailed it before I got on the plane. I didn't need to wait to think about anything. I loved him. That was all that mattered.
***
As soon as I stepped onto the plane, I opened up the front pouch of my duffel bag. It was another envelope with my name on it. I found my seat and shoved my bag in the overhead compartment. I was already tearing open the envelope before my butt hit the seat. There was another letter inside.
Hails,
This is every cent I have to my name. I know you said you didn't want it, but I'm giving it to you anyway. You faced your fears of visiting your mom. You didn't let pride get in the way of what truly matters. So don't let it get in the way now either. Maybe I was the answer the whole time. I think we were meant to find each other.
You don't get to say goodbye to me, and you don't have to say goodbye to your dad either. No goodbyes. Do whatever it takes. And stay strong. I can't wait to meet him.
Love,
Tyler
