“No,” she said. “It will not be well. I will not deny that I cared for him before, but he has made it clear time and again that he does not care for me the same way. He all but pushed me into the arms of others. He didn’t want any of this. He didn’t want to be a duke. He didn’t want to be married to a duchess. And he most certainly doesn’t want to produce heirs with me. We are trapped. Trapped in misery.”
Her aunt patted her hand. “Well, if you say so, dear. But at the very least, you have one thing you always wanted. Your freedom.”
Freedom. Yes, it was true that she had it. Nathaniel had made it very clear that she would have her own household budget. Access to all the money from her jointure, as well as whatever else she needed. She didn’t have to rely on him. And that, for a woman of her station, was quite remarkable. She knew other duchesses who had to ask their husbands for a little spending money for a new gown or some ribbons. She would have access to her own money—something that nobody could touch but Nathaniel. And he wouldn’t. He made that clear as well. She had everything she wanted. Everything, she realized—except the chance of ever finding true happiness.
The ceremony was quick. Conducted at the small chapel on the grounds of their estate, with only their immediate family and close friends in attendance. The wedding breakfast was also small and intimate. Lady Charmaine had not been invited. Her sister, Lady Annabelle, had.
It was Lady Annabelle with whom Evelyn sought refuge later that day. While Nathaniel sat with Julian and Eugenia, discussing this new arrangement, and her two sisters had gone off to visit the stables, Evelyn walked arm-in-arm with Annabelle.
“I do not know how I can beg your forgiveness. My sister is a horrible gossip. Always has been.”
“I know. I remember from the seminary—she always had everybody else’s news to share. But I cannot believe she would be so vindictive.”
Annabelle wet her lips. “I have a secret I must tell you. Her secret. And I know that you have every reason to hate her and you might want to tell everyone about it, but promise me that you won’t.”
She looked at her, pressing her lips together. “What is it?”
“Promise.”
“Very well. I shall promise. I will not stoop so low as to be on the same level as her. Now, what is it?”
“Charmaine had designs on Nathaniel.”
“What?” she said and turned to her friend. “I did not even know she knew him.”
“They met once before in Scotland. I daresay Nathaniel likely will not even remember it. It was at a dance hosted by his mother.” She paused. “Why are his parents not here? Nathaniel’s mother and stepfather?”
“There was no time. They wrote and said that they would come to visit in due course, but this time it was too short notice. But enough of that. You were talking about Charmaine?”
“She says he flirted with her most outrageously, and she thought him the most handsome gentleman she had ever met. But evidently, he was not interested in her and left with another lady.”
“Oh,” Evelyn said, not quite certain what to make of this. She had never thought about his past before—what sort of man he had been before she met him.
“Did she mean to tell me that he was a rake?”
“It seems that way,” Annabelle confirmed. “But you cannot believe everything she says. Look at what she has done to you. It is almost ironic,” she said. “She wanted him, and when she couldn’t get him, she thought to warn him—only for him to marry you. Sometimes her actions make no sense.”
“Sometimes when you are driven by anger, you do not think. But I wish she had—because she has made me utterly miserable. And now she seeks to sully his reputation.”
“I do not know what she seeks to do. In any case, she cannot do anything else. You are already married. She certainly will not be the Duchess of Sinclair—not that there was ever any real danger of that. However, I thought it might be worth mentioning that it seems to me that Nathaniel has changed. If he truly was a rake, he is not anymore. And I must imagine that it has something to do with you.”
“With me? How?”
Annabelle shrugged. “Well, think of it this way. He is a young duke, just arrived at this part of the world, and instead of being out every single day meeting ladies left, right, he hasn’t been out much at all. He certainly hasn’t established a rakish reputation in town. Perhaps he cares what people think. Or rather—what one certain person thinks.”
“Do not encourage me,” Evelyn said. “He did not want to marry me any more than I wanted to marry him. This marriage will be a miserable one, and we both know it.”
“Do not be quite so dejected. All may yet be well.” Annabelle looped her arm underneath Evelyn’s, and the two walked on together. Evelyn had a reasonable hope that her friend was right, but her heart told her that she was quite wrong. That whatever chance there had been between her and Nathaniel had faded away and may never be recovered. In addition, the idea that hewas a rake troubled her. He had never struck her as such. Ladies like Lady Charmaine threw themselves at every possible man. Of course, that was true. But that didn’t make him a rake. Even if he was—did it matter?
Why was she even thinking about this? It made no difference to their circumstances. Forcing herself to think of something else, she focused on her friend. But even as they talked about frivolous things—such as new hats and shoes and what was on dit—Nathaniel remained on her mind. Like a nagging ache that refused to go away, no matter how much laudanum one took.
CHAPTER 26
Nathaniel ambled down the stairs, taking the last two steps with one jump. His feet landed on the marble, sending a clacking sound ricocheting off the tall walls. Three days had passed since the wedding. That wretched wedding. Had he ever been so miserable? He didn’t think so.
It was silly, but he had imagined that when he finally was to be married, his parents would be there. His friends from Scotland. Somebody… somebody other than Julian and his cousin Annabelle. At least he’d been spared the presence of Lady Charmaine.
He made his way to the breakfast room, but came to an abrupt stop. Then he knocked.
