Judith dropped her hand, and the tears continued streaming down her face. What was she to do now? Should she tell Oliver what his friend had done to her?
No, that wouldn’t do any good. They might end up having a falling out, to be sure, but what good would that do? No. The best thing she could do right now was to pull herself together, find a mirror, fix up her face, and find Lord Leeds.
At the very least, what she had learned during this conversation was that Graham was genuine. He really did care about her. Unlike Aaron, who saw her as nothing but a nuisance, aplaything. Something that occupied his time longer than he would have liked.
She pulled her shoulders back and rushed deeper into the garden, in search of the back door. When she found it, she hastened inside and discovered that, fortunately, the Lord Chancellor and his wife had a great number of mirrors in their house.
She dabbed a handkerchief against her face, removing the streaks that the dark charcoal she’d applied around her eyes had left on her cheeks. It had carved rivers into her crushed white pearl powder, and it took some doing to fix it, but she managed.
Having fixed herself up, she squared her shoulders and raised her head, before making her way back into the ball.
She spotted Aaron in the corner, and he raised his hand to draw her attention, but she ignored him. Instead, she walked straight to Lord Leeds.
“Lady Judith,” he said, swallowing down whatever it was he had just eaten. “There you are. I was looking for you. I have to ask you if you wouldn’t mind joining me this weekend. I thought we could promenade at Hyde Park and perhaps go to the opera?”
“Of course. I would like nothing more. It is so wonderful to meet a gentleman who appreciates music as much as I do. But pray, I wish to ask… that is, if I am not being forward,” she ventured, batting her eyelashes at him the way Aaron had taught her. “You mentioned earlier you wanted to dance again?”
His eyes widened, and a smile appeared on his lips. “I would love to dance with you again. I was afraid I was the one who was being forward.”
“Not at all,” she assured him. “How does the floor sound?”
He nodded his head firmly. “That sounds rather wonderful. Pray, I just ate a little cheese, but I am still rather famished. Would you care to accompany me to the banquet room to see what is on offer?”
Judith was not hungry in the least. In fact, she wasn’t sure how she was going to get anything down, but she had to keep up appearances. She was going to show Aaron that he would not break her. She was not a burden. And if she felt she was a burden, then… well, she would unburden him by securing a wonderful match for herself.
The only thing that bothered her was that Lord Leeds was an upstanding, good man, one who hoped to make a life with a woman who loved him, and Judith was not entirely sure if she would ever be able to truly open her heart to him.
CHAPTER 25
Judith sighed as she read Rosy’s letter for the third time. Her friend had arrived in Spain on the day the letter was posted, and it had been waiting for her. As usual, her good friend had replied immediately.
Of course, by the time Rosy’s letter arrived, it was too late.
A fortnight had passed since the ball at the Lord Chancellor’s house, and Judith hadn’t seen Aaron. He’d called on her the day after, but she’d pretended she was suffering from a megrim, and after that, she’d ensured she was out of the house frequently, either to see Joanna or Lord Leeds—or Graham as he insisted that she call him. Anything to not see Aaron again.
She’d relayed a message to him via Matilda that she was courting Lord Leeds, and eventually, he’d ceased coming. In essence, his task was over. She was in a courtship, and she was certain Graham had told him as much. Therefore, Aaron had no business at her home until Oliver returned in two weeks.
Thus, Rosy’s advice to follow her heart, to tell Aaron how she felt, had been for naught. Aaron didn’t want her. He was nothing but a rake who’d played with her, that was all.
With a sigh, Judith sat at her desk, ready to reply. She dipped her quill into the inkwell and began writing.
Dearest Rosy,
I received your letter, and I am glad you have arrived safe and sound. As for me… I have been miserable.
She set the quill down and rested her head in her hands, the weight of her emotions pressing down on her. After a moment, she picked up the quill again, pushed the draft she had just started aside, and lowered her quill to the paper to attempt a second draft.
Dearest Rosy,
I received your letter and was grateful for your kind words and advice. However, things have not gone as I hoped. Aaron… You see, I have found that he is indeed the worst sort of person. He?—
Judith paused, her hand trembling. She stared at the unfinished sentence, then abruptly crumpled the paper and threw it away, getting ink on her fingers. Frustration and sadness welled up inside her, and she stood up, heading to the basin to clean her hands.
As she scrubbed at the ink stains, her hands ached with the force she used to remove the evidence of her most recent activity. Tears blurred her vision. She tried to hold them back, not wanting to give Aaron the satisfaction of making her cry even if he wasn’t here to see it. She hadn’t cried at all these past two weeks. Instead, she’d stoically held the sadness in, not wanting anyone to know of her humiliation.
Alas, the dam broke, and she started to cry in earnest. The pain of Aaron’s rejection, the feeling of being played with, overwhelmed her. Her shoulders shook, and she dropped the wash ball into the water, splashing the surrounding surface with droplets of water that sparkled in the sunlight streaming in.
Then, a wave of rage overcame her, and she gripped the wet wash ball and tossed it across the room, where it bounced against her sideboard and knocked down one of her favorite patch boxes, which shattered on the floor.
