But even as he nodded in reluctant agreement, Leonard couldn’t shake the gnawing ache in his heart, the relentless longing that had consumed him in Sally’s absence. He had spent the past week consumed by thoughts of her. What if Kenneth had been right? What if he wasn’t destined to become his father, but was instead set in motion a self-fulfilling prophecy? Was he making all of this happen just by virtue of his own fear?
“What if I made a mistake and threw away my happiness?”
Aaron rubbed his temples wearily, a look of frustration crossing his features as he struggled to find the right words. “Leonard, if you continue down this path, you’ll end up hurting Sally just the same.”
Leonard’s heart constricted at his friend’s words. He knew he had to make a choice, to either confront his fears head-on or risk losing Sally forever. I think it was already too late for them. Why hadn’t he simply spoken to her and revealed his intentions and worries? At least, then she would have understood; Kenneth was right. He owed that to her. After all, he wanted to protect her, but he didn’t want to hurt her, and he certainly didn’t want her to hate him.
As the sound of approaching carriages echoed outside, Leonard felt a surge of resolve coursing through his veins. “I... I must go,” he murmured. “I should be with Sally welcoming the guests.”
“Do not make a mistake, Leonard. She doesn’t deserve your ... whatever it is that makes you so uncertain,” Aaron said and whipped out a corkscrew before setting out to open the bottle he’d brought for the both of them.
Ignoring him, Leonard headed for the front door; he had to ask her to give him time to explain. Not tonight, but maybe in the morning. He had to tell her the truth about what had driven him. He knew that a true marriage was not possible between them, not anymore. But at last, he could explain to her why, and there might be a chance she’d give him, or at least understand him.
Leonard made his way towards Sally, his steps filled with quiet determination.
“I’ll do what I should have all along,” he muttered to himself, the words a silent vow as he prepared to face the woman who had thrown his conviction into turmoil.
CHAPTER32
Sally
As Sally stood at the front door, her heart aflutter with anticipation, Joanna’s warm presence beside her offered a fleeting sense of comfort amidst the swirling sea of emotions. The grandeur of the evening stretched out before her, and as the guests arrived, she hoped her meticulous attention to detail would result in the grand ball she’d hoped to host. Outside, a few carriages stood in line, and she pulled her shoulders back, ready to receive them.
“Everything looks absolutely wonderful, Sally,” Joanna remarked, her eyes alight with admiration as they swept over the carefully adorned foyer.”
“You’ve truly outdone yourself. This ball will be talked about for years to come, mark my words.”
“I hope so, and for the right reasons. Not like Mother’s birthday ball,” she said with a cringe, remembering the events that had led to her hasty marriage.
“No, never. It will be wonderful, you’ll see,” Joanna assured her while Kenneth smiled at her from the doorway to the ballroom, a glass of Leonard’s best Spanish wine in hand.
He’d given her crates of his best wines to use at the ball, since most guests would be expecting this. She’d been grateful but still, beneath the facade of festive cheer, a pang of loneliness gnawed at her heart. While his gesture had been kind, his absence by her side, a customary presence at such gatherings, served as a stark reminder of the fractured state of their marriage.
As the first guests began to trickle in, their exclamations of awe and delight echoing through the halls, Sally’s attention was drawn to the arrival of her parents.
“Sally, how lovely! I see my advice was not at all needed, for you have done such a wonderful job,” her mother’s effusive compliments brought a genuine smile to her lips. Sally had seen her mother several times since they’d reconciled. They’d dined together, taken walks, and generally attempted to heal their friction. Their relationship wasn’t where it had once been, but it was well on the way to healing.
“Thank you, Mother,” Sally replied graciously. “I’m glad you think so. I’ve put a lot of effort into making tonight special. I just hope the lady patronesses will appreciate it all.”
“They will, do not fret one bit, dear. This will be a wonderful ball and before the night’s end you’ll have many offers from charities to join their ranks,” her mother assured her.
“You might become a patroness of Almack’s once it is reopened,” Rosy chimed in but Sally grimaced.
“I should think not. They are not anywhere near ready to reopen after the fire, and even if they were Almack’s is hardly a charitable organization.”
“Besides, all patronesses must be at least 234 years old,” Kenneth said as he joined them, sending the group into giggles.
“Do not let anyone hear that,” her mother cautioned her.
Her father’s arrival interrupted their conversation, his keen gaze sweeping over the opulent surroundings with a critical eye. “Where’s Leonard?” he inquired.
Sally’s heart sank at the mention of her absent husband, a pang of disappointment coursing through her veins. “I... I’m not sure,” she admitted reluctantly. “He hasn’t arrived yet.”
Internally, Sally couldn’t help but feel a twinge of resentment towards Leonard for his absence, she knew they were keeping their distance and that she’d made sure to stick by her resolve. Still, she’d hoped he would join her due to their agreement to be a couple in the public’s eye only.
There was little more public than a ball like this.
As the guests began to arrive, Sally felt a mixture of excitement and trepidation swirling within her. She watched as her parents and Rosy made their way into the ballroom, their expressions filled with anticipation for the evening ahead.
