Tears welled up in Joanna’s eyes as she nodded. “Yes,” she confessed. “That’s the reason. That is why I didn’t want to marry Lord Worcester or anyone else. I wanted to be able to choose, so at least I might have some sense of… control.” She raised her arms and dropped them at her sides in defeat. “I have always been so willing to believe the worst without checking. I hurt you, I know I did. I was awful to you.”
Kenneth, his understanding gaze fixed on her, nodded in acknowledgment. “I will not stand here and say that it felt good when you accused me of something I did not do, but I understand why now. Besides, we’re often willing to believe the worst because it’s easier.”
Joanna frowned. “What do you mean, it is easier?”
“What I mean,” Kenneth clarified, “is that when we believe the worst about others, it’s a defense method. We lower our expectations, hoping to shield ourselves from the potential pain if those fears turn out to be true.”
“Yes, I always thought if I expected to be disappointed, it wouldn’t hurt as much. Thinking highly of people has caused me so much pain, like when I discovered my father’s affair,” she said.
He took a step closer to her, his gaze staunch. “But I’ve learned something important, recently. That mindset, while protective, also keeps you from experiencing joy—from forming deep relationships that can bring you happiness.”
Joanna’s brow furrowed as she tried to comprehend the depth of his statement.
Kenneth reached out, gently taking her hand. “You taught me that,” he confessed. “You inspired me to face my fears, to step out of the shadows. I visited the place where my brother died, and I made peace with it. It made me realize that shutting yourself off from the possibility of finding joy also means shutting out the chance for real happiness. Bad the past does not have to repeat itself. Calamities do not have to happen.”
“Sometimes, they do,” Joanna muttered, her eyes fixed on the door. “My sisters are discovering that now. And what a doubly awful revelation it will be.”
“Yes, it will be hard, but that does not mean it will ruin their lives, Joanna. They will overcome it. They will see that their father is not perfect and that he has made many mistakes, but they will also understand that not every man is like that.”
“How?” she asked immediately.
“Because they have you. You will guide them. The things you have learned today are important lessons that will help you aid your sisters in this difficult time.” Kenneth took her hand in his, and to his delight, her fingers curled around his right away. “And I will be by your side.”
“You will? Despite everything I said? You forgive me?” Joanna asked breathlessly as if she hadn’t considered this possible.
In the tender space between them, Joanna’s eyes searched Kenneth’s for reassurance, seeking confirmation that he could truly forgive her.
His response was resolute. “I have forgiven you, Joanna. I already have. The truth is, when Lady Judith said those ugly things about you and your family, I briefly believed her. That was that darkness inside me that wanted to believe the worst. But I will not let it dig its claws in me again. I will never doubt you again.”
“Pray, what exactly did she say? And what is true? I’ve only gathered pieces of the puzzle.”
Kenneth, calm and composed, began to tell her the truth he had unearthed. Joanna’s dismay deepened, it was clear by the way her face turned paler and paler as the revelations about her father unfolded.
“I cannot believe it. I knew something was the matter, but I never suspected this extent of betrayal and lies. To steal from children… And now he is relying on Lord Worcester to help him?What if he does not? What will become of our family? And most of all, what will become of the children?”
“I am certain after this daughter’s actions tonight, Lord Worcester will keep his word. But even if he does not, I will ensure both the orphanage and your family are protected, do not fear.”
Joanna’s eyes glistened as she nodded her head. “Thank you. Thank you, Kenneth. I do not know how I can ever tell you how much you mean to me. I only wish I could be as good for you as you are for me,” she said quietly.
Kenneth hooked a finger under her chin, tilting her head up. “No, Joanna. We are good for each other. My dear, you must know by now how much I admire you. Indeed, I… I love you,” he said, surprising himself with his honesty.
He’d never said those words to anyone, not even his mother, who herself had not been very open about her feelings since Edward’s death.
“And I love you, Kenneth,” Joanna replied, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
He leaned in, pressing his lips to hers for the very first time. The softness of her lips and the warmth of her breath were intoxicating, and he inhaled deeply, memorizing every moment.
“I cannot imagine being with anyone else,” he said quietly when they parted. “Joanna, will you do me the honor of breaking our most crucial rule completely and becoming my wife?”
She chuckled. “I dare say that rule is already broken, but I am glad to bury it into the ground, for there is nobody I would rather marry than you.”
Just as they were about to seal their commitment with another kiss, he noticed the strange expression on Joanna’s face. “Is something the matter?”
A smile appeared on her face then, and he knew that whatever it was, it was nothing to worry about. In fact, her smile widened.
“There is something I have dreamed of but never told anyone about,” she confessed.
“And you wish to share it with me?” he asked, touched by this development.
