“I will say, I feel better now that I told you,” he admitted.
“I am glad. I felt something was amiss when we danced at Almack’s, and then, when you disappeared, I didn’t know what to make of it. I am glad you have told me now, and I hope that we can continue to?—”
Suddenly, they heard a bang at the door, and Joanna looked up at him, her eyes wid.
“Kenny! Open this door, or I will?—”
The door handle jiggled, and Joanna jumped back as the door flew open, revealing a red-faced Leonard.
“It wasn’t locked,” Kenneth said dryly and squared his shoulders while Leonard looked from him to Joanna.
“Yes, I noticed. Lady Joanna, it is good to see you up and well,” Leonard murmured, frowning. “Am I interrupting something?”
Kenneth wanted to tell him that he was indeed interrupting them, but before he could, Joanna replied, “No, Your Grace, not at all. I shall leave. I was only calling for… our next meeting.” She then turned to him. “To the orphanage?”
Kenneth stared at her, confused. Then, it came to him. She didn’t want to give away the depth of their conversation, so he nodded. “Right. Leonard, Lady Joanna and I are going to the orphanage on Sat?—”
“Sunday,” she supplied quickly.
“I see,” Leonard replied and stepped aside as Joanna made her way to the door.
“I shall see myself out, Your Graces,” she said, and then she vanished, leaving Kenneth more confused than ever—although, he had to admit, also a whole lot less miserable.
The status of their relationship was still unclear, but he knew that whatever had just transpired between them had catapulted them into a different territory altogether.
They were not faking anything anymore. It was clear they liked each other. The question was, when exactly would they confess this? And when they did, what would happen next?
Could he truly risk loving someone again? Or would his old fears stop him from every being happy?
CHAPTER 20
Awhirlwind of emotions churned within Joanna as the carriage drove her back home. The revelation of Kenneth’s tragic past had left her filled with pain on his behalf. It was no wonder he had struggled so much in his life if this was his past.
To think he’d spent more than twenty years thinking he was to blame for his brother’s death was heart-wrenching.
On the other hand, she couldn’t deny feeling a certain happiness when she understood the meaning of his words. He had been about to tell her that he had true feelings for her when his friend had interrupted them, of that she was certain.
She wanted to be upset with Leonard, but at the same time, she didn’t truly know what she would have done if he hadn’t appeared. What if Kenneth confessed his feelings to her? They were not in a position to engage in anything romantic right now.
She was moon-eyed over him, but that didn’t negate her lingering fears of love and commitment. After all, hadn’t he admitted that his father had cheated on his mother, just as her father had cheated on her own mother?
The late Duke’s infidelity cast a shadow on the possibilities. Joanna grappled with her long-standing reservations about men who strayed from their marital vows. The questions echoed in her mind. Could Kenneth be different, altered by the scars of his past? Or was he doomed to repeat his father’s mistakes?
Confusion clouded her mind as she contemplated the complexities ahead. Despite the doubts and uncertainties, a persistent feeling emerged—she wanted to continue seeing Kenneth. Even if the boundaries of their agreement had blurred and they’d broken their rule not to fall in love with each other.
How silly she’d thought the idea back then, and how real the situation was now.
The connection they shared, the vulnerability he had displayed by telling her something he’d kept secret from all but one other person, and the potential for something deeper outweighed her reservations. She wanted to be around him, she knew this.
Joanna sighed deeply, leaning against the side of the carriage as her head pounded. What was she doing?
The only thing that made sense was to walk away, but the mere possibility of not seeing him again was painful. What ifshe risked her heart? Yes, it might be broken, but she’d always wonder if she never tried.
The carriage came to a halt before she could make up her mind, and she clambered out. The moment her feet hit the gravel, she was greeted by a delighted bark, and Rudy ran out of the manor toward her way, his tail up in the air.
“Little one!” she exclaimed, crouching and opening her arms to receive him.
“Jo!” Rosy called as she stepped out of the manor. “I was about to take Rudy out for a walk, but he raced ahead when he saw the carriage coming. He adores you, you know?”
