* * *
By the time the carriage pulled up outside Cliffdall Manor, the sun was beginning to descend in the sky. Esther was exhausted from tears and heartbreak, and at the moment, she wanted nothing more than to seek the sanctity of her bedroom and forget everything that had happened to her.
But as she was helped out of the carriage, she saw her mother hurrying down the front steps of the Manor toward her.
Her heart sank. Whatever this conversation was about, it was unlikely to be anything but excruciating.
“Esther,” her mother called anxiously as she approached. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Esther said, half wishing she could answer with the truth. She had never been farther fromall rightin her life. She was devastated, and she felt as if she would never recover.
If I had a different kind of mother, she would take me in her arms right now.She would reassure me that everything was going to be all right.
Esther’s mother did not offer reassurance. Instead, she frowned.
“What are you doing home?” she asked. “Unless…Is the Duke on his way? Is he behind you? Is he coming to ask your father for your hand in marriage?”
“No,” Esther said. “He isn’t coming.”
“I don’t understand,” her mother said.
“His Grace has ended our courtship,” Esther explained. She heard how heavy her voice was, how lacking in any emotion, but she couldn’t seem to summon any inflection. “He no longer wants to see me.”
Her mother gasped, eyes widening. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m afraid so,” Esther said.
“What did you do wrong?” her mother demanded.
Esther felt as if a knife was twisting inside her gut.
Why does she assume I did something wrong? Why must the fault lie with me? I did nothing to deserve this.
But that wasn’t true. She knew it wasn’t. She had allowed Hugh to believe she was looking for love far before love had been anywhere near her mind. Itwasher fault he felt deceived.
The only thing that isn’t my fault is the fact that he found out about it.
If only Esther could truly believe that she had done nothing wrong. Then she might have been able to stand up to her mother. But as things stood, she couldn’t. She couldn’t defend herself. She couldn’t argue.
“I’d like to go to bed,” she said quietly. “I don’t feel well.”
She was afraid her mother might order her to stay up and explain herself. If she did, Esther knew she would have to comply. This wasn’t like being at Harcourt Manor. Esther had the strength to disobey her aunt’s orders, but her parents were different.
But thankfully, her mother stood back and allowed Esther to pass by.
She was halfway up the stairs, headed for her chamber, when her mother called after her. “Esther?”
She turned and looked back, wondering if she might be about to receive a scrap of sympathy.
“I’ll expect you to explain yourself over breakfast tomorrow morning,” her mother said firmly. “And don’t even think of trying to get out of it. When I tell your father that you’re home, he’ll be very upset. He’s going to want some answers, too. I hope that’s understood.”
“Understood,” Esther said quietly, too exhausted and heartsick to fight back.
Amelia had reached her bedchamber ahead of her, and she quietly helped Esther out of her gown and into her night clothes. She turned down the blankets so that Esther could get into bed. Someone had already prepared a fire in the hearth.
It should have felt good to be back here. It should have felt like home. But it didn’t.
This room had been Esther’s since childhood. But for the first time in her life, she felt as if she didn’t quite belong here.
