“I want to speak to Eugenia first,” Esther insisted.
“And I’ve told you no,” her aunt said evenly. Is there anything else?”
Esther didn’t know what to say. If her aunt was insistent on stopping her from speaking to Eugenia, what could she do? She couldn’t exactly run upstairs to Eugenia’s room and force her cousin to let her in.
For all I know, Eugenia doesn’t want to talk to me anyway. She knows what she did to me. She betrayed me. I’d like to think she’s ashamed of what she’s done, but it’s more than possible that she’s just feeling pleased with herself. Maybe, if I was able to talk to her, she would just laugh at me.
“Fine,” Esther said. “I’ll go.”
She turned and stalked out of the sitting room, across the foyer, and out the front door to the waiting carriage.
Amelia was standing in front of the carriage door waiting for her. “Are you ready to go, My Lady?” she asked quietly.
“More than ready,” Esther said firmly, allowing the anger she felt at her aunt and cousin to fill her. If she focused on her anger, it would make it easier for her to leave behind all the wonderful moments that had happened here in London.
She allowed herself to be helped into the carriage. She looked out the window that wasn’t facing Harcourt Manor, determined not to give it so much as a final glance. Somewhere inside, Aunt Tabitha was hoping she had hurt Esther. And though she had, Esther didn’t want to admit to feeling that pain as she was borne away. It was the only way she could think of to reclaim control.
But as the carriage began to move, her feelings overcame her, and she turned to look at the Manor one last time.
And there, in a high window, holding back the curtain and looking down at her, was Eugenia.
Esther stared. What did this mean?
Was Eugenia so proud of what she had done that she needed to look down from above as Esther was taken away, as her dreams were crushed?
I never thought my cousin could be so cruel, Esther thought, her eyes filling with tears.She never seemed that way to me. She was the best part of being in London, and I would have done anything to make sure her Season was a good one.
It had been Eugenia who had encouraged Esther to seek Hugh’s attention in the first place, she remembered.
Had that been a setup?
Had Eugenia only done that as a way of pulling the Duke into her own life? Maybe the goal had always been to tell him the truth, eventually, about what Esther’s initial goal had been. Maybe Eugenia had always meant to steal Esther’s love.
She’s even more conniving than her mother.
At least Aunt Tabitha was straightforward about the kind of woman she was. But Eugenia had pretended to be kind. She had pretended to be Esther’s closest friend.
As they pulled away, the tears that had been threatening Esther since she had left Harcourt Manor spilled over and streamed down her cheeks at last.
Everything she’d believed she’d had was gone. It was all ruined.
She had looked forward to the rest of this Season—more balls, more parties, more pretty gowns and late evenings of dancing. Now that was lost. She was returning home, and she would be lucky if she had the opportunity to try again next Season.
Her friendship with Eugenia, which she had come to treasure, was lost as well. She knew that she and her cousin would never be able to rebuild what they had had. How could she trust Eugenia now, after what she had done? It was a betrayal the likes of which Esther could never have imagined if she hadn’t lived through it.
Then there was Caroline to think of. The entire reason for Esther’s attempts to find a husband had been her sister’s future. What did Esther’s failure mean for Caroline? Were her sister’s hopes lost now?
And then there was Hugh.
The man she had loved, even though she hadn’t believed herself capable of love. Even though love had never been what she was seeking.
He owned her heart completely now, and she felt as if she was leaving it behind.
Seeing her tears, Amelia, who was sitting across from her in the carriage, laid a hand on top of Esther’s. “Take heart, My Lady,” she said. “After all, this was only your first courtship, and you’re still very young. It won’t be long before you capture the attention of another gentleman.”
And maybe Amelia was right. Maybe there was a future in which Esther would find love again, in which she would be happy. But it was hard to see that future right now.
Right now, the only thing Esther could see was loss.
