They walked on for few minutes then John stopped and turned Susan toward him, and held her in hisarms.
“Susan, I can’t believe how much I’ve changed these past few months since you’ve been taking care of Elizabeth. I think of you constantly. There is this pressure in my chest when I’m near you and all I want to do is hold you and do this.” He drew her even closer and brought her lips to his while holding her head in hishands.
Susan was aflame with desire for him. Her heart was pounding and her cheeks were flush. She melted into his arms and surrendered into hisembrace.
“Susan, is it too soon to hope you might care for me as much as I care foryou?”
She withdrew from his embrace and feeling both a strong attraction for John and a wistful affection for Daniel, took a step back, said, “Oh, John, you must give me a little more time. Daniel’s loss is still too fresh, and while I’ve accepted that he’s gone, I’ve not yet lost my affection for him. Please, I beg you, be patient withme.”
John bowed his head with a great sadness in his eyes, and then said, “My dearest Susan, while I don’t haveinfinitepatience, I will be patient enough until you can tell me you care for me as much as I care for you—ornot.”
Susan put a hand on his chest. “Thank you, John, I do appreciate your consideration.” A shiver ran through her, whether from passion or the cold she couldn’t tell and she said, “I’m cold. I think it’s time we return. And I’m ready for a good hot Englishbreakfast.”
* * *
Fitz was sittingin the sunlight streaming through a window in one of the least visited sitting rooms. She had found it to be a convenient place to read and write her many letters. The Duke had made it abundantly clear that he wasnota suitor and found her presence to be an unwelcome distraction in hishousehold.
But she’d been saved at the last minute by dear Simon who’d interceded on her behalf and she’d been allowed to stay—for the timebeing.
Fitz knew she had attractiveattributes,but she was nearing her thirty-second birthday—although admitting to being only twenty-eight. Her glittering life was more forced these days, and yes, she admitted to herself, she was exhausted by her constant search for ahusband.
She had no family. She had no abode, and her friends were becoming increasingly reluctant to have her as a guest, as her uninvited stays increased in length with each visit. Since being asked to leave by the Duke, she had written numerous letters to prospective hosts and not one had replied in theaffirmative.
She had received two letters this very morning which were resting in her lap. The first was from yet another friend who would be out of town and unable to accept her as a guest, and the second letter—and much more damaging—was from her banker informing her that her investments were performing poorly and her available balance of ready money was nearlydepleted.
She just stared out the window. And the sun, pouring in, provided a harsh light—emphasizing the heavy makeup needed to retain a semblance of eternal youth. Candlelight was still her best friend. She wiped away an unwelcome tear as she heard the drawing room dooropen.
She quickly put the letters in her pocked as she stood to escape the revealing sunlight and turned to see who hadentered.
“I’ve been looking all over for you, Fitz. And this is the last place I thought I’d findyou.”
Fitz answered gaily, “Well, the place where you find someone is always the last place you look, is itnot?”
Simon chuckled. “Yes, I guess itis.”
“Have you been riding without me,” she asked with apout.
“Not at all. In fact, I was looking for you to see if you might want to go riding with me? It’s a sporting day this morning—clear and bright, and just the gentlestbreeze.”
Fitz knew she needed to accelerate her plan and this seemed to be the perfectmoment.
“I would love to, but let us sit together for a moment first. We’ve not had any time alone for several days. Always people about. Dinner, supper, sherry, coffee. Does it never end?” She laughed a littleharshly.
“If you like,” Simon replied and took a seat on the small sofa next to where shesat.
She wanted to give him the opportunity to express any feelings he might have toward her—if any. They had been flirting for some time now, but he had never declared his intentions. She desperately needed to find out if he might be serious about her. She was running out of opportunities andtime.
He looked at her but said nothing. She lowered her eyescoyly.
“Was there something specific you wanted to say?” Simonasked.
Fitz was beginning to panic. Simon was not being forthcoming. She needed to break through thisimpasse.
“It’s been such a lovely few weeks being here with you,” she said demurely. “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt such sympathy with such a finegentleman.”
“Why, thank you. How lovely of you tosay.”
“And I’ve been thinking that it must be time for me to leave soon.” She let the statement hang in the air, but he did not respond. “And I was wondering how you feel about that? Do you think you might missme?”
