Chapter 26
Iris was notsure how to take this change within Ewan, it was almost too much for her to handle. He had spent the previous day subtly letting her know that nothing could happen between them because of her status, and now it seemed that he was acting as if that statement had never left his lips. He was giving her the distinct idea that the opposite waspossible.
Just as Iris had accepted that Ewan was out of reach, he took her on an unexpected rollercoaster of emotions. She felt dizzy and confused with itall.
“So, what will you do once your responsibilities are gone?" Iris leant in ever so slightly as she spoke. There was a slight lilt to her voice that had not been there before, but she chose not to wonder what it meant. This was the best conversation that she'd ever had with Ewan, she didn't want self-doubt to wreck it. “Once Amy is married, what will you do withyourself?”
“I have not thought about it much,” Ewan admitted bashfully. “I guess I have spent so much of my life making things right, that I have not had time to plan what will comenext?”
“What do you mean ‘making things right’?” All Iris wanted to do was know him,reallyknow him, even the boring parts that most people might wish to miss out on. To her, all of it wasfascinating.
“Well, with both of our parents dead, there were a lot of things that I had to take control of. As it turned out, my father was not the best with money, he lost a lot while gambling which came as a bit of a shock to me. I have had to ensure that my family has kept afloat financially to ensure that my sister and I do not lose everything. It was a lot of responsibility for someone soyoung.
He had been a boy when it had happened, which forced him to grow up far too soon. Maybe that was why he enjoyed breaking the rules with Daisy, he had spent longer than most followingthem.
“But you have done so well,” Iris replied admirably. “You would not be able to tell that your family has suffered any money worries. You must have worked veryhard.”
“I have been fortunate that my trading business has been successful,” Ewan replied modestly. “But thank you for your kind words. It is always nice to hear that you have done right with yourlife.”
Iris did not want to wonder whether or not she had done right with her life, that was a subject far too complex fornow.
“Maybe it will be time for you to do some travelling then.” Iris smiled as she decided to stick to the safer topic of him. “You could travel on one of your boats and see theworld.”
Ewan enjoyed thinking about that, it was a wonderful idea to imagine seeing the world, but it was only a fantasy, it could not ever be real. After all, even without his responsibilities to his sister, he would still need to keep the estate going, and society held certain expectations of him. Just because he did not go to as many events as he would like, it didn’t mean he could give it up completely. He had a name to maintain, and over the years that had become everything to him. It would have all been a waste of his time if he turned his back on itnow.
“Yes, maybe that is what I shall do. I will find a brand new world to live in,” he teased, going along with the idea for now. He enjoyed the idea of at least sounding exciting, even if that was not thecase.
“I have always heard that America is wonderful.” Iris paused for a moment before another thought hit her hard. "Why have you not married?" she enquired curiously. "The Oakley name would surely attract a wealthy lady with a large dowry for you. Surely, that would help you to ensure that you keep financiallyafloat.”
Ewan’s expression darkened. He looked like this thought pained him. “I have received that advice before, but it is not for me.” He blew out a deep breath of air, recalling that everyone seemed determined to wed him. He did not enjoy the concept of a marriage of convenience one bit. Maybe it was a silly notion, but he wanted more... or not at all. “I even met a selection of young ladies who wanted to be my wife, but that only confirmed that it was not what Iwanted.”
“Why ever not?” To Iris, that felt like the obvious solution. That way he could have enjoyed his youth much more. He did not need to work somuch.
“I would much rather work hard and marry forlove.”
Marry for love.Those words struck a chord with Iris, it was all that she’d ever wanted in her life. The notion that she wanted to marry for love was the reason that all of this had happened. If she hadn’t spent so much of her life daydreaming about finding the perfect man for her, she would be wed to Duke Pembroke now. Marrying for love was the only thing that had kept her going. Having someone share that sentiment blew heraway.
Ewan's words were a revelation, but still, something needed clearing up before she could truly think it through. “Marry for love, as long as she is born with the right family name.” She smiled as she spoke, trying not to let her bitterness through, but she could feel it seeping out regardless. “You have left yourself a very narrow window of opportunitythere.”
"Yes, maybe too small," he mused while tapping his finger thoughtfully to his chin. “I think I might have been wrong to make my options solimited.”
Then he gave Iris such a heart-stopping look that she knew, he meant her. Despite all the odds being stacked against them, he was suggesting that he might like to marry her. The sweet desire behind his eyes said itall.
Iris’s suspicions were right. Maybe Ewanhadbeen lying awake all night long thinking about her, and the conclusion was that he wanted to be with her no matter who she was, just came tohim.
Iris was not sure whether or not she should be elated by that news. It certainly sounded positive, but complications remained. She wanted to be nothing but happy, she could feel that emotion deep within her... but there was no escaping from the fact that it was not her he loved. He loved ‘Daisy’. Yes, it was only really her name that was different, but could Iris enter a loving marriage with a man that did not know her true identity? Daisy hadn’t shared that sentiment, she had married Duke Pembroke pretending to be someone else, but then her wedding was not one for love. Maybe that made adifference.
“Why have you not married?” Ewan asked as he tried to bring the conversation back around. He did not like the distant look she now had in her eyes. “I imagine you have had plenty of interestedparties.”
He was grateful that she hadn’t because it had led her to him, but he could only imagine the amount of attention she must have received with that gorgeous face of hers. That sweet buttery blonde hair, and her big blue eyes, never mind the softness of her features. She was so beautiful that even he was considering breaking all of the unwritten rules that he’d given himself just to be withher.
There was no way he was the only one who felt thatway.
“No, no one wants to marry me.” Iris blushed, but she also grinned as she spoke. "But that does not matter because I have not found the man that I want to marry either.” Iris jutted her chin out defiantly as she giggled. It felt good to pretend that she wasn’t married through choice...although technically it was the truth. Sort of. “If someone is going to be mine forever, they have to be a very specialman.”
“Yes, I can see that,” Ewan nodded seriously as he tried to imagine Daisy married to someone that was not him. The fact that the image caused him a physical pain in his chest was evidence enough that he had to ensure that it was him whatever the cost... somehow. “Your husband and the father of your children will have to be a very specialman.”
Iris rubbed her belly automatically, picturing a child growing within there. Even the process to make that happen did not seem like such a terrifying idea with this gorgeous man sitting in front of her. She felt like she might not have minded carrying Ewan’schild.
