"Yes." Iris hung her head towards the ground, showing the appropriate amount of sadness. Iris fell apart when her mother passed away, so the fact that she did not feel the same way now made her feel very guilty. It made sense, her mother was her world whereas her father was a virtual stranger, but still, she felt bad. "He said this to me only yesterday. It is a terribleshame."
“Life will be... different without him here.” Elizabeth seemed to be struggling with what to say as well. The girls were not at all heartless, this was just a man that had always existed in the peripherals of their lives. It was like discussing the death of a very distant cousin. “Has he made a plan for youyet?”
“Yes,” Iris whispered. “He wants me to getmarried.”
Elizabeth pulled Iris closer to her for a hug. She embraced her close, pressing her head into her chest. For a brief moment, this reminded Iris of her mother’s comforting cuddles. They never failed to make her feel much better. Maybe Elizabeth’s hug would work too, if it wasn’t for such the diresituation.
“Has he given you the names of anysuitors?”
“Duke LoftusPembroke.”
Elizabeth pulled back to stare at her sister with wide, shocked eyes. “Are youserious?”
Iris’s heart hammered, her brain spun. She watched Elizabeth’s face twist up in disgust which made her feel even worse about the arrangement – something she hadn’t thought possible untilnow.
“I am serious, why, what iswrong?”
Elizabeth paced, she walked all the way over to the fountain in the Warwick garden where she took a seat on the outer stone rim. Concern was plastered over her expression the entire time while she pondered this news. In fact, Iris noted that she looked more horrified than the day she learned that she would be getting marriedherself.
Iris could recall that day well. She remembered her sister stomping around the room in fury at the prospect. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to get married, she did want a husband and family to call her own, it was simply that she wanted to pick her own husband. She didn’t want the older gentleman that her father had deemed worthy of her hand and dowry. Iris felt sorry for Elizabeth back then, but it was a distant sympathy. It felt like the sort of situation was a million miles away from her own life. She couldn’t imagine the time when it would come for hertoo.
That time wasnow.
“Iris, I have heard of Duke Loftus Pembroke,” Elizabeth finally started in a hushed tone. “He is not a niceman.”
“What do you mean?” Iris gulped, trying to keep the sickness in. “Is he grumpy? Cold-hearted?”
Elizabeth grasped her sister’s hands and she smiled as reassuringly as she could manage considering the situation. She knew herself what it was to be married to someone that wasn’t any good, she had that herself, but this was different. Iris was soft, too delicate for the world, and Loftus was a brute. There was no way this pairing was a good one, if only their father paid more attention he would know this forhimself.
“He has a horrible reputation as an unpleasant man who isn't kind to anyone – least of all the women in his life. His angry temper has gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion. I do not want to think of you stuck in his home, sad and heartbroken everyday."
“Oh my God.” Iris clutched her chest, her whole body pulsating with terror. The idea had been awful before, now she could feel it tearing her soul apart “Oh my goodness, Elizabeth, are you serious? I do not know what to say. What should I do? Can I escapethis?”
Elizabeth’s face fell. A betrothal arrangement was incredibly hard to break. Even preliminary arrangements between gentlemen were considered solid, set in stone almost. Also, their father was in a rush. He was dying, he wanted this wrapped up before he passed away. There was no chance he would listen to Elizabeth’s plea on her sister’s behalf. He was challenging enough to speak to under ordinarycircumstances.
"I will try for you," Elizabeth promised hollowly. She didn't want to leave Iris alone under a cloud of despair. She wouldn't be able to go back home knowing that Iris was falling into an abyss. Even if she couldn't do anything about it, she had to leave Iris with a tiny spark of hope. "I will speak to Father today, see if there is anyone moresuitable."
“I would prefer for it to be no one,” Iris replied glumly, but of course, she already knew that it wasn’t possible. She would have to marry someone if that was what her father wished of her. “But it will be better not to be him. Anyone buthim.”
Elizabeth stood up to walk away, and Iris nodded in acknowledgement. She needed to stay out in the garden for a little while longer, to work out what she was going to do next, and Elizabeth understood that. Some alone time would do Iris good. She hoped the sunshine would help to clear her mind a little bit, to help her come to terms with what inevitably had to bedone.
As Iris watched her sister walk away, her heart darted all over her body in a panic. Elizabeth had made it obvious that there was no escaping marriage entirely, and although she’d promised to help, Iris wasn’t convinced that there was any chance of her actually talking their father around. His hard reputation was there for areason.
Maybe she should runaway.
Iris pictured herself jumping up from the fountain right at that moment and simply taking off with no plan whatsoever. Just going wherever the wind took her. She imagined herself running off into the sunset and never looking back, forgetting this life forevermore.
It was a romantic notion, but not a practical one, and that was the only thing that kept Iris fixed where she was. After all, the running off would be one thing but what would happen to her afterwards? With no money, she would need to work, and with no skills or experience, there wasn’t a lot she could do. With no connections, she would probably be forced to work as one of those street girls that Daisy had told her all about one terrifyingnight.
Daisy had scared her half to death by telling her that there were poor girls out there in the big cities, who were forced to give over their bodies for cash, that men would treat them badly and shame them in terrible ways. Apparently, they needed money so badly that every single day was a terrible chore for them, and that once they'd been shamed into that life, there was no getting out of it. Some might go on to become courtesans who would receive the privilege of the company of wealthier men... but still it was not a lifestyle that appealed to the ever frightenedIris.
At the time, Iris had been so scared by the tales that she hadn’t even bothered to ask how Daisy knew all of that. Maybe it was a friend of hers who had been forced into that life, or a family member. Or maybe it was just one of those warning stories that the working classes shared with each other, to allow them to feel better about their own less than comfortableexistences.
No, Iris could not run away, she did not want that ever to be her. The idea of men’s eyes upon her as a marriage prospect was bad enough.Thiswas a step toofar.
As the sun crept higher in the sky, and the birds’ tweets got increasingly louder with each passing second, Iris knew that her mood should at least try to match the brightness of the day, but she could not find it within her. It was as if her heart and organs had been swallowed whole by a deep, black gloom, and there was nothing that she could do to shake that off of her. It was a waste for her to be out in it when she couldn’t enjoy its beauty. If it wasn’t going to make her smile, then she should leave it for someone else. Someone who still knew what hope feltlike.
With a deep sigh, Iris stood back up and she wandered aimlessly towards her home... or what was her home for now, maybe it wouldn’t be for too much longer. As she moved, she tried her best to find some determination within her. Therehadto be a way out of this, she just needed to figure out what itwas...
If only this was a world in which she could actually have asay.
