Chapter 17
By the timeher second week was up, things were not much better. Iris kept her head up and she remained as determined as she could manage, but her situation was drowning her, she felt completely and utterly overwhelmed. She might have been cool and collected on the outside, but inside she felt like a boiling hotmess.
Iris had never been forced to consider how likeable as a person she was before, but now it was all that she could think about. Maybe the staff at her house liked her because she was the lady, nothing more. If she hadn't been, maybe they might have treated her just like the staff at the Oakley household. Maybe there was just something terrible unlikable abouther.
If only she knew for certain, then she could work on improving herself. Iris did not want to go through life with no one liking her. What a terribly lonely life that wouldbe!
“Which dress should I wear today?” Amy suddenly blurted out, shaking Iris from her thoughts. She stood in front of her wardrobe looking as bewildered as Iris felt inside. Iris knew that Amy loved her dresses, but today it seemed to be too much of a challenge to pick the right one. “I am not sure which one tochoose.”
Since Amy had never asked her for her opinion before, Iris leapt at the opportunity with glee. Maybe this was her first step towards her breakthrough. If she could form a connection with the lady of the house, then everything else would not seem so bad. All she really needed was one positive thing to happen for the dark cloud to lift. Then maybe once she was back to herself, maybe she would not seem so unlikable to everyoneelse.
“I do love the pale pink dress you own, with the hearts embroidered into the sleeves.” Iris smiled as she ran her fingers lightly down the material. “It looks wonderful onyou.”
It made Amy look like a beautiful princess in the middle of a story... not that Iris thought of such things anymore. Iris left her daydreams back at her house where they belonged. She had a real life to focus onnow.
As Amy’s face contorted into an unpleasant expression, Iris understood the issue exactly. She hated to wear the uncomfortable ladylike dresses on a daily basis too, which is why she took to only slip dresses when she retired to her room. She could not see any point in struggling with a dress that she could barely breathe in. Especially when no one was around to seeit.
Just because Amy embraced being a lady more than Iris ever did, didn’t mean she needed to be in any discomfort today. If it was not what she wanted, then Iris thought she needn’t forceherself.
“But if you intend to have a day of reading, or learning with your governess, then you should wear the cream coloured dress you have,” she continued casually. “It is very classy and it looks like it will fit muchnicer.”
“Yes.” Amy’s expression instantly turned to one of relief as if she had been given permission to do the one thing that she really wanted to. Finally, Iris had said the right thing! Her heart darted around her chest with happiness. “Yes, I think I will. The cream dress,please.”
Iris undressed Amy rapidly, barely noticing her body anymore. She was as accustomed to Amy’s nude body as she was of her own. Every curve, every slight blemish on her skin, the cluster of freckles on her hip... she knew it so wellnow.
“There.” She stepped back and grinned at Amy. “That looks wonderful onyou.”
Amy twisted her body freely, enjoying the sensation of movement that she could get from this dress. Iris did not see the point of her struggling when there was not even a master around. He had not been at the house for weeks. Why keep up the act when there was no one around to seeit?
“Thank you, very much, Daisy,” Amy smiled as she swayed her hips in an almost dance-like movement. “I really appreciate yourhelp.”
Iris’s wanted to dance herself, she felt enveloped by sheer joy. That had to be a wonderful sign, Amy had smiled at her, and it was a look of genuine happiness too. All the horrors that she'd been through during her time in the Oakley household slid off her back like water and she felt uplifted andjoyful.
“You are most welcome, Miss Oakley.” Iris bobbed into a curtsy. “I am always here tohelp.”
“Yes... youare.”
The way that Amy said that made Iris wonder what had happened to her previous handmaiden. Maybe if she was treated by the other staff in the terrible way that Iris herself had been, then she might have left rapidly, in a distressed state of upset. Amy had the haunted look of someone who had been abandoned by everyone. Her parents, even though they'd died she would probably feel some resentment, then her brother was rarely around. Her handmaiden was her closest confidant, so if she vanished rapidly, that would undoubtedly leave ascar.
“Just know that you can count on me,” she told Amy softly, wanting her to know that she understood. “I am not goinganywhere.”
It no longer mattered what anyone else did to her now, things were lookingup.
“Yes, Daisy, thankyou.”
They shared a moment where they simply looked at one another in understanding. Of course, Amy would never learn how deeply Iris understood, but there was a bond beginning to form. It would take some time and some very careful nurturing, but the seed had been planted. The flower would grow intime.
As Amy left to do her learning for the day, Iris smiled to herself and she set about tidying up Amy’s room. She had no idea if that was supposed to be in her duties, since she hadn’t ever been given a list, but she did it nonetheless. She found the organizing and cleaning therapeutic, and it was so much better than facing any of the other staff members at anyrate.
She hung up all of Amy’s dresses – the ones that she had decided not to wear – brushing them down far more delicately than she used to treat her own clothes as she did. Iris considered her own dresses as something to be feared when she was at home. When she was forced to wear them, Iris did not feel like herself, and that led her to despisethem.
Although Iris wasn’t sure if this was exactlyhereither. She hadn’t felt much like herself since she entered the Oakley household. She wouldn’t give up now, the determination was still there burning bright, but still, she wished that she felt more comfortable here. She wished that she had someone to speak to. She wished that she had a friend likeDaisy.
Trying to ignore this bit of turmoil that threatened an otherwise very positive day, Iris hummed to herself as she tucked the heavy curtains out of the way of the window. As the bright light streamed through the window, and it sparked rays over Amy’s lovely bedroom, Iris hummed that little but louder. It was almost as if the jaunty tune was telling her that everything would beokay...
“Your breakfast,” Victoria suddenly announced glumly behind her, making her leap in fright. Iris had gotten so lost in her own thoughts that she forgot other people lived here, if only for a moment. “Do you want me to just leave it on the floorhere?”
The cook had taken to sending Iris’s food to wherever she was at the time. She felt certain that there was some perfectly valid excuse for that, should they be asked by someone of importance. Maybe they ‘did not want to disturb her duties’, or they ‘felt like she wanted to eat in isolation’, but to Iris the meaning wasclear.
