Then there is everyone else. The other serving staff despise me and I do not know why. All I wish to do is have a friendship group like I had at home, I miss having people care aboutme.
Do you have any advice for me? I wish I could send this to you to ask, I would love to know what you think. But maybe you are too busy to write to me now. At your dinners andparties.
I am sorry, I do not wish to moan. I just missyou.
You have always been a wonderful friend to me, I loveyou.
Daisy
Writing that name as her own felt a little more right now. It was as if she’d become Daisy... not that the persona had done her manyfavours.
Iris twisted onto her back and she stared up at the ceiling. There was a crack running down in, with a spider web dangling down that she could not stop herself looking at. Even in the dark, as she attempted to get some sleep, she stared upwards as if she could seeit.
Maybe that was what her heart looked like now. She certainly didn’t daydream anymore, or imagine a handsome prince coming to rescue her. Her brain stuck firmly in reality where everything was terrible. She couldn’t get out of it, even if she wantedto.
She felt her brain dart back and forth as she realized that she really only had two options before her. She could give up, be pathetic like she always was. She could act the way that she did when her mother died and she could retreat inside of herself. She could curl into a ball and let the world pass herby...
Or she could takeaction.
For once, she could take the road that she never went down and she could fight this. She wouldn’t even need to do much for that, she would simply have to hold her head high and keep on working. She would keep trying with Amy and hope that one day she’d feel comfortable to talk to her, and she would hope that the other staff members would eventually grow weary of their childish games. She could ignore them right back until they decided to growup.
It wasn’t like Iris to be attracted to the more challenging option, but it was the only one that could provide results. If she shut down now, she’d end up losing her job which would put her on the streets. If she wanted to protect Daisy then she couldn’t go back home, even if Olivia would let her in which only left her with one horrifyingoutcome...
She would end up as a streetgirl.
Iris shuddered but used that image to bring up her determination even further. She would not let these people push her down, she was better than that, stronger. Iris had been through far too much to lose herselfnow.
She would dothis.
Iris turned onto her side once more and she smiled to herself. It was the first happy expression that she’d had in a very long time. This wasn’t easy, it was more of a challenge than she assumed it would be, but if she could overcome this then she could do anything. Ever since her mother had died, she hadn’t wanted to do anything. This she needed to do. This was her aim inlife.
Her life wouldn’t be easy from here on out, so she needed some inner strength. This was the perfect way to build character and prove to herself that she was better than others thought she was, thanshethought she was. She hadn’t ever thought anything good about herself, but now she wanted to. She neededthat.
Iris closed her eyes and embraced the happiness. Tomorrow was a brand new day, and she would make it a good one. The best one she’d had in the Oakley householdyet.
