Chapter32
The dinner partywas every bit the intolerable ordeal that Lydia had imagined it would be. She went through dinner in a near trance, chatting now and then with Daniel who was on her left and with a Shropshire, country-gentleman landowner to her right. But Ellen was far away down the table close to her family and was unavailable for solace. The only other person, close enough to converse with, was a matronly dowager opposite, but she engaged in no conversation, whatsoever. She continually mumbled to herself and would occasionally look up with a jerk and shout out, “What! What!” and then slump back into a mumblingstupor.
And then at the end of the supper, the Earl stood up, clinked his glass and called for everyone’s attention. Lydia knew all too well what was coming and just could not bear to face the announcement. She rose from her chair and turned to leave, but Daniel caught her arm and asked, “Areyouill?”
“I feel a little faint, but I shall recover. I just need some fresh air. Pleaseexcuseme.”
“I would come withyoubut…”
“No, it is fine. You stay for theannouncement.”
Lydia then fled the dining room. And as she was leaving, she could not help herself, but glanced over at Edwin, and caught his eye. She had never seen such a look of despair. And the Duchess saw his look as well and reached over and shookhisarm.
But Lydia did not stay to see any more. She fled to the terrace and stood looking out over the gardens. By now it was dark. The sun had set long ago and a first quarter moon was hanging low in the western sky. Strangely, a bird was still singing. It puzzled her until she realized it was anightingale.
There was no one to comfort her. Her mother was tied to the Duchess. Ellen was duty bound to congratulate her brother and Caroline, and Daniel needed to support his sister and his family. There was no place for Miss Lydia. She should neverhavecome.
But she was determined to quash the self-pity and, taking a deep breath of the night air, turned to go back to the dinner, hoping the engagement announcement and congratulations wouldbeover.
But as she turned she bumped into someone, and looking up she was confronted with Edwin. He took her by the shoulders, and holding her tightly said, “I must not stay, but I had toseeyou.”
“Edwin, no. Go back to yourfiancé.”
He shook his head. But she refused to let go of her determination to stay calm andcollected.
“This may be the only moment I have to say what I must say. Please hearmeout.”
Shenodded.
“It broke my heart to see you flee the dinner, but I completely understand your need to. Please know that I wish things could be different. I long with all my heart that it had been you standing next to me when the announcement of my engagement was broadcast to the assembly. But it cannotbeso.
“My darling Lydia, forgive me for what I have done. Think fondly of me, if you can, and know that I shall always treasure your indomitable spirit andfierywill.”
“Thank you, Edwin. I do understand why this must be so. And I accept the fact. Now, please go back to your family. People will begin to be suspicious if you do not return to your joyouscelebration.”
Edwin just stared at her. He put his hand on her cheek and turnedandleft.
And she knew that she must return as well. Her fainting spell needed to be over or Daniel would come searching for her. She did not need or want his solicitous concern even if it was genuine and well meant. So she headed back to thediningroom.
The two families had risen from the table and were gathered in a group, smiling and toasting. Even her mother was still attending to the Duchess. Daniel had his arm around his sister and leaned in to kiss her on thecheek.
Lydia found her other dinner companion, the gentleman landowner and stood next to him as the other guests watched the happy familiescelebrating.
“Ah, I love a good wedding. Braces the spirits and lightens one’s steps. Thinknot,lass?”
“Indeed,sir.”
“Makes me harken back to the time when me and the missus were courting.” He became thoughtful. “But then one is young and sees or knows not the heartaches that can follow.” He turned and looked at her. “Oh, sorry, missy. You are ayoung’un yourself, are ye not?Forgive my dark turn of phrase. Forgive an old man hisreminiscences.”
“There is no need for an apology, sir. Life is what it is, and there will always be the bitter and the sweet, willtherenot?”
“Aye ye be right there, lass. And bless ye for the greatwisdom.”
The engagement party was now drifting from the dining room into the sitting room. Couples dispersed or lingered in conversation as the guests little by little went theirseparateways.
As the family was leaving, Daniel came over toLydia.
“Have you recovered?” heasked.
