“Oh, tough one. Can’t you do both? Highlight how they’re merging tradition with sustainability? I know Halseth’s customers would love that.” Her voice perked as she talked, “Actually, that’s brilliant. Grady and Zane have started writing up clever descriptors for the menu, as we’re carrying almost entirely Black Op now, which has been a huge hit. They’re making witty coasters, too. We could do something similar with the wine list.”
He smacked a kiss on her cheek and they continued on their walk. “You’re a genius. I can picture how we’re going to grow their image now. And I’ll see about adding some witty turns of phrases for the new labels.” Smile still plastered on his face, he asked, “House. We’re getting down to the wire. Have you made a decision?”
Zoe’s smile fell and she gnawed on her cheek before pasting on a phony grin. “Um…”
“Don’t worry about it. We can stay with Grady or Finn if we still haven’t settled on a place when your lease is up, or even renew the lease for just you and me and the peanut. I mean, if you don’t want to even think about it—” Ryder bit his tongue. Blew it. Big time.
Shaking her head, Zoe gripped his hand tighter and pulled him to face her. “I love that you want to be sure this little peanut has… plenty of space. But I’ve been thinking… maybeyoucould buy a place in town, then there wouldn’t be the pressure of it beingourplace. I mean, we’ve been doing great, but are we still going to be doing great when the peanut comes along? That’s going to be a big strain on us. Relationships fail because of new babies all the time.” Her smile was strained, her cheek jammed so tight in her teeth, he wished to hell he could dig his way out of this one.
“No, no, you’re right. That’s probably a bigger step than either of us is ready for.”
“You live and work in Phoenix. Won’t it feel weird to have two homes? One with your girlfriend and your baby, the other your, I don’t know, bachelor pad?”
“I’m hardly home anyway—” Not helpful. He quickly corrected course. “I’ll keep the Phoenix place to crash when I need to be at the office, but I travel so much these days, Foothills can be my homebase. Just don’t tell Gene.”
Flatly, Zoe said, “You hate Foothills.”
“When did I say that?”
Zoe dropped to a log bench and dug her hands in her hair. “Everyone knows. I know a big part of why you broke up with Claire was that you didn’t want to live here.”
Ryder picked up a rock and chucked it across the river. Dropping his hands to his hips, he glared across the river, his cheeks pulled tight. How the hell could he explain to her what he didn’t understand himself? “That was different.”
“Your job is your life, and your job is in Phoenix. How can you go about this so… calmly? Like we’re moving toward home and family and picture perfect really fast, when there are still so many hurdles. I’ve lived with boyfriends, but this is different. I don’t want to make a mistake, because it’s not just about you and me.”
Rubbing his fingertips over his temples, he closed his eyes and reset before turning toward her. “Do you know why I’m so good at what I do?” He stopped and laughed mirthlessly under his breath. “Ever hear the term fake it til you make it? Sometimes, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. But if my client gets the idea I’m floundering? Somebody else gets the contract.”
“Great,” she muttered. “I should have realized.” She rose to her feet and flipped her hair out of her face.
“Zoe. Wait—”
“No,” she fired back. “You’ve said enough. Ryder Mallory is perfection embodied. The handsome, successful executive. Anyone else would be tripped up by something so inconvenient as a knocked-up one-nighter, but that’s not Ryder Mallory. Ryder Mallory will sweep her off her feet and make her feel adored, learn everything there is to know about babies and childrearing, move his family into a fancy house in the adorable hometown while he excels at his job, making hand over fist and making it look easy. All to keep up his image. Because he can do anything.”
Feet digging into the gravel, Ryder shoved his hands in his pockets. “Is that really what you think of me?”
The wind rustled through the branches around them, then whipped past her as if she’d cast it herself. “What else am I to think? You always look like this whole thing is a breeze. No big deal. Could you even cope with failure?”
“Acting confident doesn’t mean I think this is easy. Would you prefer I raise my fists in the air and demandwhy me? Would that make you feel better?”
“If it’s honest? Yes, I would prefer that.”
“That’s not me,” he walked back toward the car, pausing as he passed. “Let’s head back,” he murmured.
His head throbbed. From the fight. From not having a fucking clue how to make this right. He’d stepped up. And he’d loved every second of it, with her, getting ready for the most terrifying surprise.
But maybe he’d been wrong.
She’d said it, and she wasn’t wrong.
This was bigger than them.
She was rigid when she clicked the passenger door shut. He glanced toward her and saw a glassy layer forming over her eyes.
Fuck.
They drove up the hill and into town, but she didn’t say a word.
“Zoe?” he whispered.
