I led her to the middle of the room where there was a small table with a couple of chairs facing each other.
“My mom sits here every morning to drink her coffee. It doesn’t matter what else is going on—if she’s home, she’s here at seven a.m. My dad has never once joined her.”
“Does she want him to?” Danielle asked.
“Does it matter?” I replied. “Heshould want to.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“I don’t want us to ever become my parents. I don’t want to watch you sit by yourself. I want to be there with you, hearing all the things you’re thinking about.”
She swallowed hard, tears welling in her eyes. “And I want to tell you. I promise I will as soon as I figure out how.”
“Is there something I can do?” I asked, silently begging her to let me in, to give me something to work with.
But she just shook her head.
We returned to my family, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that Danielle was slipping away from me, that I was somehow losing her. In some ways, we were closer than ever, and yet it felt like I was watching her get further and further away. And I didn’t know how to fix it.
TWENTY-SIX
Danielle
I was runningout of time. How long did I have before Hayden figured out the truth? Or some version of it at least.
He was worried about me—I could see it wrapping through his aura in dismal clouds of gray every time he looked at me. I hated it, being the source of his anxiety. But what could I do to take it away? He didn’t believe me when I said I was fine, and I couldn’t blame him. I wouldn’t believe me either. Iwasn’tfine.
I stared up at the mirrored glass building that housed the entrance into Heaven. It had been a couple of weeks since I’d visited the manor house for more books about the grand princes. Micah hadn’t been around then, but I’d sent a message ahead telling him I needed to talk to him this time. And if he hadn’t gotten it, I’d just have to wait until he came back.
After crossing the plain white lobby, I pushed the Upbutton beside the elevator, watching as it lit up with soft white light. It took a matter of seconds before the doors slid open and I was on my way home.
Except it didn’t feel like home. My home had become the penthouse I’d shared with Hayden for the past four months. That was the first place I’d felt truly like I belonged. It was comfortable in a way none of my other homes in Heaven or on Earth really had before.
The doors opened right onto the second floor of the secret order’s manor house. My legs started moving automatically in the direction of the library before my brain could catch up and remind me that wasn’t why I was here today.
I turned and moved to the door that led to Micah’s rooms instead. He used to share this floor with Sam and Joriel, but since neither of them lived here at the present moment, he had it to himself. I knocked softly, watching his name appear on the door, glowing softly as if the word had been written with light instead of ink. It appeared anytime another angel of the secret order touched the door.
After knocking again and waiting a few minutes, I headed downstairs to check his office and the training rooms.
The staircase between the first and second floor was split into two separate sets of stairs that met at a landing in the middle and joined into wide steps the rest of the way down. It had always reminded me of something from a Gilded Age mansion or one of those luxury steamships from the early twentieth century.
A pretty glass chandelier hung from the ceiling, casting bright light over the space.
Everything in the foyer was made of wood, from the floors to the walls to the dark oak doors that led into various rooms.
The whole room was beautiful—grand but not over the top.
For the months I lived in this house, I’d spent most of my time on this floor. It was home to the infirmary, the kitchen, and the training room Micah had attempted to teach me to fight in. It was also where Micah’s office was located.
I knocked, and when he didn’t answer, I pushed the door open and peeked my head in.
“Micah?”
There was a crash as a crystal glass smashed against the floor near the bar where a woman I didn’t recognize was sitting on the counter. She had stunning silver wings just like Sam’s, marking her as a member of the second order… at least originally. If she was here, maybe she wasn’t second order anymore.
Micah stood in front of her, his own wings out and blocking most of her body from my view. They were literally curled around her like he was shielding her from the world.
“Sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know you had company. I’ll just… wait in the kitchen.”
