“We should keep moving,” I said, my voice coming out strained.
Laila’s brows rose up her forehead, and she glanced down at her close-to-naked body. “I’m not going anywhere until my clothes are dryer and on my body.”
I couldn’t hold back my groan this time.
She laid her clothes out on the cracked ground and then stretched out, propped on her elbows, face tipped up and eyes closed like she was sunbathing without the sun. She didn’t look like she had a care in the world.
“Sit, Joriel,” Laila said without opening her eyes. “I’m not letting you ruin this moment for me.”
“And what moment is that?” I asked, surrendering and sitting, keeping several feet of distance between us.
“It’s peaceful, warm, and dry here. This is as close to paradise as I’ve gotten since I left Heaven, and I have every intention of enjoying it.”
This was now her definition of paradise. Her standards had dropped to a point where a dry wasteland where nothing could grow was a place she found pleasurable. And she didn’t even seem to mind.
“Tell me more about the secret order,” she said, oblivious to the direction of my thoughts.
“I should have known you weren’t going to forget about that,” I muttered.
“It does kind of change everything I thought I knew about Heaven,” she said with a small smile.
I sighed. “The secret order does jobs that aren’t fit for any of the other orders. We train to fight and be whatever we need to be. We’re Heaven’s assassins, spies, protectors, anything really.”
“Who knows about it?”
“God, my sister and brothers, their wives. In the whole scheme of things, not very many people. And those who do are careful about who they tell.”
“Will you get in trouble for telling me?”
The question was ridiculous enough that I almost laughed. “I’m already in trouble. There’s no lower to go.” I swallowed hard. “But my family could be in trouble if you tell the wrong person about them.”
“Who am I going to tell? You’re the only person I have to talk to.”
“The chances that you’ll be able to avoid all conversation when we enter Hell’s high society aren’t in your favor.”
“I wouldn’t tell a demon or grand prince,” she said.
I didn’t reply. I wanted to believe her, but I knew that intentions sometimes didn’t last long in the face of real danger. Laila was an attendant. She didn’t really know how she’d respond in the court of the original Fallen. She’d already let the Prince of Theft lure her out of Heaven.
“How did you end up in the secret order?” she asked.
“It’s not a pleasant story.”
“I’m not a stranger to unpleasant stories.” She rolled onto her stomach, giving me a view of her ass cheeks… and the scars that marred her back where her wings had once been. Point made.
“I wasn’t ever a very good messenger. I was more interested in studying than teaching. I don’t remember when my interest in fighting began. It feels like it was always a part of me. But the skill was considered useless for a messenger, so I tried to ignore it, to be what everyone expected of me. At some point, I started dragging out my trips to Earth and hanging around gyms, watching and learning from humans.”
I looked away from Laila. I’d behaved no better than a lesser demon, putting my own desire to roam the Earth freely above my orders.
“One night I was taking my usual detour, and by the time I actually made it to the girl I was supposed to be delivering a message to, she was barely alive.”
I could still see the scene perfectly in my memory. The girl’s battered body. The older boy standing over her with a bloodied whip gripped in his fist. The way the world had turned red as pure rage coursed through my body. The boy’s sightless eyes when the rage finally faded enough for me to stop.
“If I’d been there earlier, I could have prevented it. The boy never would have had a chance to lay a hand on her. I wouldn’t have lost my temper. I killed him,” I whispered.
“I can understand why,” Laila said, sitting up, her full attention fixed on me.
“Micah pleaded my case. He said anyone would have reacted to what I saw the same way. He believed I’d be better off in the secret order where he could keep an eye on me and I could train to fight since I obviously wasn’t suited to being a messenger.”
