I sat up straighter. Joriel never willingly talked about his life as an angel. I hadn’t even known he had belonged to the seventh order. How did a messenger lose his soul to the Devil?
“What do you remember?” I whispered, afraid if I spoke too loudly, he’d realize he was sharing his past and shut me out.
“Just vague impressions of what my childhood looked like. I have no idea if I’m even remembering my own life or just filling in the gaps with things I’ve seen younger angels go through. I don’t really remember anything specific or anything I can be sure wasn’t a story someone else told me.”
“But you were a messenger. You must have spent time on Earth.”
“You say that like it should mean something.”
“It’s just that Earth changes so much faster than Heaven or Hell. You must have some idea what your early years were like. What’s the oldest memory you have of being on Earth?”
Joriel shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. There was nothing personal about my life back then. I didn’t do anything that mattered to me. So no, I don’t remember what messages I gave or what countries I saw back then.”
“But—”
“Drop it, Laila.”
I let out a breath. “I’m sorry. I just always thought the life of a seventh-order angel must be so exciting. You got to travel and see the world.”
Joriel let out a harsh-sounding laugh. “I got to travel, and you got to live in a palace. Those are just jobs, Laila. They’re notwhowe are. I imagine our childhoods were rather similar. We were both born to parents who were more committed to each other than they were in love. Those parents trained us to do a job, and then we grew up and pretty soon they became just another couple of angels working the same job as us.”
“That’s a rather pessimistic way of looking at things.”
“It’s the unfiltered truth. I don’t even remember my birth parents’ faces.”
I tried to imagine it, getting to a point where I could run into my parents in the great hall and not recognize them as the people who had given birth to me. It sounded impossible. But when I really thought about it, I realized that I’d never heard Jonah talk about his parents.
It made sense in some sad kind of way. It could be decades or centuries or even longer before I decided to commit to someone. And after getting married, it could be a long time before I got pregnant. Pregnancy in angels wasn’t nearly as common as it was in humans. My parents could forget me or be busy with another child before they’d ever get grandchildren from me.
A thought struck me like a physical blow. “I could have older siblings I don’t even know about.”
“You could,” Joriel said. “But it wouldn’t mean much. There’s a big difference between blood and family.”
“Did your parents do something to make you not like them?”
“No. If I specifically didn’t like them, I’d probably remember them better. I don’t have any strong feelings toward my parents. My family comment wasn’t a jab against my birth parents. It was just a statement of fact. I have a family, and not a single one of them are blood relations.”
I leaned forward, unable to hide my interest. “You have a family?”
“Three brothers and a sister.”
“How can you be sure none of them are blood related? Since you don’t even remember who your parents are.”
“Well, with the exception of Danielle, none of them are from the seventh order, and since she looks nothing like me, I think it’s a safe assumption.”
“I’m so confused.”
“I’m not surprised.”
When he didn’t elaborate further, I asked, “What are your brothers’ names?”
“Micah, Samuel, and Nathaniel. Micah’s an archangel, Samuel was once a guard, and Nathaniel’s a warrior.”
“How did you meet them?” To the best of my knowledge, the different orders didn’t settle down and create families together.
“It’s a long, complicated story. And the details don’t really matter. What’s important isn’t how we met, it’s who we are and what we’d do for each other.”
“Do you live together?” I asked. “I mean before…”
