I laugh, too. “Sasha’s sweet. He’s got you.”
“Right now, he’s still a little boy, but he’s got Yegorov blood.”
“His poor, sweet sister.”
“Nadya’ll get over it and probably put her brother and father in their places.” Erin hugs me again. “I promise things will get better. You just need to stay strong and hang in there. And I’ll try and make Demyan see that if he keeps pushing, he’ll only cause more damage and push you away.”
“I know he listens to you ,” I say, my stomach clenching at her words.
Because I’ve never seen Demyan quite like this.
And I don’t want to be the catalyst of trouble in their marriage.
I refuse to be.
“He mostly listens,” Erin says. “But I’ll do my best.”
“Don’t. What I mean is…thank you, but the last thing I want is to cause trouble between you guys. This is between me and Demyan. And you don’t want to be in the crosshairs.”
“I don’t mind. If I can help?—”
“No, Erin,” I say, “you’ve done enough. For your sake, you need to keep out of this, okay?”
Chapter Ten
ILYA
In a different world,I’d be speaking to my closest advisor in my ranks. In a different world, I’d be speaking to Demyan, or even Pavel.
But not now.
I could, I suppose, still speak to Pavel, but I understand loyalty. While he’s always been loyal to me, someone I consider a friend, I won’t put him at risk.
Like Demyan, I keep the buddy side of things to a level that’s nothing like friendship; no drinks out, no sharing of personal lives or discussion of personal issues. This keeps the lines of communication crisp and easy to see.
I won’t make him muddy our relationship. I won’t test his bonds or make him choose.
Rightly, he’d choose Demyan.
Because right now, it would have to be a choice.
In a different world, I’d make Denis my second and put my trust in him.
To a point, I do trust him. To a point, I trust those men remaining.
To a point.
But beyond that, I can’t. I won’t let myself.
Not until they prove it. And that will take some doing.
The ones who’ve remained with me seem loyal, willing to lay their lot with me and within the confines of the bratva they know. Some are even eager to find out how it will all change. They can see the upside of staying. The holes that lay in the ranks.
Holes that they could fill as they move up, giving them more power and responsibility than they’ve ever had before.
That’s the win-win I hold on to.
Along with a big fistful of reservations.
