Maybe it’s time to admit defeat, to walk away while I still have some semblance of my sanity left. I trail my fingers through his hair.
All I know is I can’t carry on like this. I don’t know how to win against someone who has already stacked the deck in their favor.
But giving up, letting James push me out like this pisses me off. I’ve never backed down from a fight in my life, but it’s not just me to think about anymore.
“Come on mama. Let’s get you up and fed.”
He helps me out of bed and into the shower where he presses me against the tiles and slides inside my body. He fucks me slowly, building us both to climax with each drag of his cock into my pussy.
I let myself get lost in this moment, all thoughts emptying out of my mind as I stretch around him.
Casey is the only thing keeping me sane, keeping me grounded.
My pussy still aches deliciously when he sits me at the table and slides a plate of toast in front of me. I begin to eat, but then the countdown to work starts ticking and my appetite flees.Casey watches me, and it takes everything I have not to shrink under his watchful eye. “You done?”
I nod. “I’m sorry. I’m really trying, but my stomach just doesn’t feel good this morning.”
“You ate fine all week. You worried about goin’ back to work?”
Yes.
“No.” I hate how easily the lie falls from my mouth. It shouldn’t. Not to him. Not between us. “I’m just a little nauseous.”
He stands, kissing my hair before he takes my plate away. “You would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?”
I hate making him doubt me. I never want that, but I don’t know how to tell him this without him going nuclear.
But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep walking into that building afraid, on edge. I’m five months pregnant and the bigger I get, the more vulnerable I feel.
“Would you…” I swallow. “Would you think less of me if I quit my job?”
There is an imperceptible tightening around his eyes, but I see it. “Not even a little.”
“I don’t want you to feel like I’m not contributing anything. Not that I contribute now.” He’s never let me pay towards the bills, not even when we were living together before we got married.
His fingers trail over my cheek. “You gave me a home, a reason to stay. And now you’re giving me a family. I don’t care if you work. I don’t care if you sit home all day and drink fucking tea. I just want you happy, and you haven’t been happy for a while now, Lex.”
Tears prick my eyes. “I know.”
I’m still not sure if I’m going to tell him the depths of what I’ve been going through. But I’m done trying to fight forsomething that is mentally draining me. I want to be the hero in this story. I want to fight the bad guy and win, but I can’t. I’m tired. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and I need to think about my baby.
He scans my face like he’s analyzing beneath my skin. “Babe, if getting written up leaves you this drained, then I don’t want you going into that place.”
“I want to quit.” The weight on my shoulders lifts the moment I speak the words.
“Then fuckin’ quit. I like the idea of you bein’ with me all day.”
I don’t deserve him, don’t deserve this. “I’ll wrap up my projects and hand in my notice today.”
He kisses me, relief in every line of his face. “You’re makin’ the right call.”
“I just want to enjoy my pregnancy.”
His lips are soft against mine, his hand on my nape firm as he pulls me closer. “You don’t have to go in at all if you don’t want to. I’ll sort it.”
It’s so tempting to say screw it, but it’s not Janice or James I would leave in a mess. It’s Tasha, it’s my team. I can’t do that to them.
“I need to hand over things before I can just walk away.”
